Don’t give your scheming sis a miss forever

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My oldest sister — a real piece of work — has arrived back in Winnipeg for the summer on a work assignment. She’s telling my family she wants to see me again. Ha! Fat chance.

I don’t live at home anymore and will never be coming to visit her, as my sister has always taken what was mine, as if it’s her right.

One time, she pretended to be my sympathetic confidante to trick me into telling her private information about my sex life with my new boyfriend. Then she went after him! Luckily, he called me to squeal on her. He’s a great guy, and I’m still with him, and I really don’t trust her around him and maybe never will.

Should I forgive her and give her a new chance, just because we’re part of the same family? That’s what my mother is asking me to do.

— On Alert, West End

Dear On Alert: Don’t cave in to mama who wants you to forget everything. When you’re older you may be able to take this snoopy sister back as a closer sibling, but for now just protect yourself.

Be pleasant and civil in your sister’s presence, but discuss nothing personal about your boyfriend. Also, try not to get stuck with her in a room alone.

Discuss the news of the day, and leave it at that — no gossip.

If she complains about you being “cautious” around her, bring up what happened in the past and see if she apologizes sincerely or just brushes you off!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was walking through a mall with my girlfriend when buying my new summer clothes, and I saw a woman with long, blond, curly hair and an amazing body looking at rack of colourful bikinis.

She was so beautiful, I instantly stopped and looked for a bit. My girlfriend asked me if I knew her, and I blushed and admitted, “No, umm… just gawking.” She just laughed and said, “I was too!”

What? I didn’t expect that! What’s going on with her? Are some people just so beautiful/handsome that anybody notices and starts to react sexually? I’m almost scared to go to the beach now.

— Want Us to Stay Straight, Exchange District

Dear Want Us: You can relax! Admiring a hot-looking man or woman doesn’t mean your usual sexual preference is suddenly changing. Look around and you’ll see other people staring at them, too. It’s a natural reaction.

Sometimes looking at a “sensational” human being can feel like you’re looking at a work of art, and you react to it.

So, from now on, look at it that way, rather than wasting time worrying about you or your mate’s sexual preference. It’s just that you’re not blind, and you’re noticing the many variations of bodily beauty exposed to people in the summertime.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new husband was just reading an article about why people name their cars. Mine always have male names, and my guy just wanted to hear the reasons behind them. So I told him.

I always name my second-hand cars after old boyfriends who did me wrong, and I curse them out by name when they’re iced up and won’t go.

My husband said, “OK, I’ll buy that excuse, but I still feel insulted not to have one of your cars named after me!” What do I tell him?

— Car Conundrum, St. Norbert

Dear Conundrum: Telling your new husband the whole car-naming story is the kind of intimate sharing good marriages are all about. So, when you need to get a new car one day, he just might just want to chip in to help you buy a great one that won’t give you any trouble — in hope you’ll name it after him!

Should he hear you cursing one cold winter day as you kick ice off a frozen fender, he’ll finally have a good laugh hearing his name involved. He’ll also know he finally made it into the club of guys who can seriously annoy you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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