Don’t sneak around to meet former boyfriends behind partner’s back

By: Miss Lonelyhearts Posted: 2:00 AM CST Saturday, Nov. 7, 2015

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw several gorgeous old boyfriends at a concert in Winnipeg recently, and it made me wonder what kind of a life I left behind five years ago. All of these men were still appealing sexually, in their late 20s, and perfectly pleasant and funny. They all asked me something like, “Are you feeling better now?” At first I thought they were maybe referring to our breakups, and my recoveries after they were gone. What male egos, I thought.

Read this article for free:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

Read unlimited articles for free today:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/11/2015 (3985 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Then I realized they were actually referring to my tendency to be nutsy — happy and euphoric for periods of time and then really down on the ground and crying a lot. I was like a roller- coaster. At one time or another, they had all asked me to get help. I was insulted at the time and absolutely refused. My next boyfriend after them — with whom I am living with happily now — insisted I get diagnosed right at the beginning of our relationship, and now I take medication for my bipolar disorder. I’m pretty much levelled out and love him dearly.

On puzzling this over, I’ve decided I would like to interview these old boyfriends on how it was for them dealing with me so I can get a grip on my reality back then. I always thought there was something wrong with them, such as lack of empathy, lack of maturity or something cold in them. It never occurred to me I was the common denominator until I got home from that concert and thought about it for a few days.

Is it disrespectful to my present guy to talk to these old loves? That’s what I want to do and maybe even tape the interviews. Should I even tell my guy, or sneak?

— Ex-Roller-Coaster Babe, St. James

Dear Ex-Roller-Coaster: It must have felt good to have these guys come over and ask about your health. They obviously cared a lot at one time, but didn’t understand what was happening. Though it’s tempting to check out these old boyfriends in private — even if it’s a short list — it wouldn’t be fair to the guy who really loves you now. How would you like your man to go off to “interview” several attractive old girlfriends about their former relationship with him, and to make amends?

Common sense tells me your new boyfriend is not going to be happy about your sneaking off to see several old boyfriends with the purpose of interviewing them about your past relationships. “Really?” he will say. “Sounds like an excuse to see them alone.”

If you’re sincere about doing research, just call the old boyfriends on the phone and apologize for being a difficult girlfriend. Tell them you appreciated them caring enough to ask about your health. Tell them that your bipolar condition has been diagnosed and treated. Later that night, tell your boyfriend what you did on the phone, and thank him for being caring enough and strong enough to get you to a doctor for proper treatment.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.