Kids back home, but parents don’t want them

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/12/2015 (3952 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We have four people living in our house now that our two kids moved back to pay no rent and eat us out of house and home. Neither can hold a job long enough to pay rent, utilities and/or food. What did my wife and I raise — forever babies? People used to have two kids and a mortgage for a small house by the time they were in their mid-20s.

They just arrived with their stuff, excuses and apologetic smiles for their mother, and moved back into their old rooms. My wife seemed happy at first to have the house full again, but now things have gotten quite sour. We can’t afford to go south this winter with our friends because we are supporting our children again. She and I are at odds, especially now that both kids have gotten jobs and still show no signs of moving. What do you suggest?

— Ready To Throw Them Out, St. Vital

Dear Ready to Throw Them Out: One couple wrote to tell me their 23-year-old kid wanted to move home to save money to go travelling in Australia, and they told him they had become nudists and would continue to be so! The son was horrified at the thought and decided against the new lifestyle at home, and managed to find roommates after all. In other situations, parents have reported to me they said things like, “We’d love to have you, but we’re changing your bedroom into a hot tub room/weightlifting room/ office for the two of us. I’m afraid you’ll have to move in with some roommates.”

Others say: “Things have changed. We want the house the way we like it now, so we’ll have tighter house rules about when you come and go, so you don’t disturb us. We’ll expect clean dishes all the time, you’ll do the daily vacuuming and your own washing. And since you’re younger, we expect you to shovel the snow and do one-third of the cooking for all of us, and we want you to pay us rent and board (food) money. You wouldn’t be able to save for your trip. No drinking or marijuana, and you can only stay two months while you’re looking for another place.”

Or you could tell them you are renting the house out to the highest bidder after Christmas so you can afford to go down south yourselves.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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