Call off wedding if drug use doesn’t stop
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/12/2015 (3942 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in jail and having trouble with my life. I have a girlfriend I love with everything I’ve got. I’m also a recovering addict, trying to start a new life with my girlfriend, but she is having a hard time between choosing a new drug-free life or staying with the bad one. I do know how hard it is to just stop, but if she loves me, she would stop, right?
I don’t know what to do. I care so much about her and we planned on getting married this spring, but I really don’t want that life anymore. What should I do? I don’t want to abandon her. I love her, and am stuck!
— Torn Love of My Life, Manitoba
Dear Torn: The drugs are like the third person in this relationship. You think she would stop doing them for the love of you, but at this point, she may still love the drugs more than any person, even you. If she doesn’t shake the drug habit before you get out, you might get drawn back in.
You need to tell her now that she needs to quit the drugs right away and stay off them for several months if you are to be married as planned. Now there are consequences for her in continuing to use. They might provide more determination to get clean, or she may rebel, in which case you don’t need her ruining your new life.
Need to get real tough? You could call the wedding off instead of just threatening to do it. What she could do is lie to you — people doing drugs lie a lot — and not quit until the last minute, such as when you’re getting out of jail. But, if you raise the bar right now and say you’re not available to be with her in a drug-taking situation ever again, then she might get herself into a place where she can quit, such as a rehab facility.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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