Be comfortable taking on different roles
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/01/2016 (3875 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m part of a new lesbian couple. I’ve never had a lesbian relationship before, so I’m a newbie. My girlfriend is muscled and quite masculine-looking. She likes to do things for me and protect me. My dead-end husband would do neither. I had to be the woman and the man in that deal, so I have a lot of alpha skills myself and get a little sick of my girlfriend chopping the wood all the time at our cabin and fixing the car. How do I let her know I want put on my big-guy boots and enjoy that part of me again sometimes?
— Big Girl Too! West End
Dear Big Girl Too: You can take on different roles on different days if you don’t draw any firm lines in the sand. You can join hands with her and tackle a big project together, or you can take turns switching roles.
Would your girlfriend be OK with you pampering and protecting her sometimes? Would she like if you cooked for her, got her a bubble-bath going, with loofah and massage on the menu? Maybe she hasn’t really thought about it, or never had that kind of thing offered to her. You can get up in the morning and say, “I’m feeling really strong and energetic. How about you?” If she feels the same way, you can share the day’s tasks.
If not, you can enjoy your strong “masculine-type” energy on a project yourself. She doesn’t own a role in your relationship where you must always play the opposite. In the end, you are just two people who love each other and are sexually attracted to each other. Don’t hesitate to open this topic with your girlfriend — that’s what lovers should be able to do. She may be interested in the ideas you express and be willing to experiment to see how you can be comfortable in many different ways together.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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