Paying for affection better than no sex at all

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/01/2016 (3534 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Your response to 65 but feel 45 is just not practicable for most retirees. I can’t afford to be free as you suggest. If I had to split our pension because of a separation, we would both be living close to the poverty line. That’s not what I worked all my life for, and my wife only worked part time, so her main income is from Old Age Security and a small Canada Pension Plan amount. I guess we would also have to sell the house, so that means renting two apartments.

We are both 74 and have not had sex since we were 70, and very little before that. I’m still sexual and splurge every now and then for a prostitute. I have to — I’m only human and want to be intimate and feel a woman’s touch. However, that can be expensive and against the law, but what is a man to do? There should be some kind of website for people in my situation instead of making me a criminal. There must be women who feel the same as me and want to be loved by someone on the side, without upsetting the apple cart, as they say.

I know my wife feels bad about this, and we don’t talk about it out of respect for each other. Don’t suggest counselling, as I have lost any desire for her now.

— Silver Fox, Winnipeg

Dear Silver Fox: So, it’s either all or nothing at home, not even affection? Your wife doesn’t even want to touch you? Could you agree to enjoy hugs, kisses and touches to at least keep your married life affectonate and free from so much tension and bad feelings? If so, you can go part of the way together and then slip into the shower and go the rest of the way yourself.

Did she totally tire of your touch? Are there physical reasons she doesn’t want to make love anymore, or does she have unresolved issues with you? Does she know you see prostitutes and is angry and humiliated, and now fears disease? Then you can’t blame her. How would you feel if it were the reverse? I know you say you aren’t attracted to her anymore, but could you be if you negotiated a new friendship pattern where there is affection? Please write back about these suggestions and questions.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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