Can’t do anything but laugh about being used by married woman

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/01/2016 (3902 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went on a date with a funny, wonderful woman I met online, and we had such a great time we ended up at my place. After we had an equally wonderful time between the sheets, she said she had to get home. I asked if she had animals to feed and she said, “Oh yes, one very big animal weighing about 200 pounds.” I rolled out of bed, grabbed a towel and asked, in shock, “Are you married?” She said she was, but just for six days a week because her and her husband have an pseudo open-marriage agreement where they have one night off. “I look forward to Saturdays when I can meet a gorgeous guy like you!” she said, then whacked me on the butt, and laughed her way out the door.

I don’t know what to make of this. I’m a good guy. I assumed she was single when I found her. She claims she’s single one night a week. I said to her: “You’re not single, you’re available once a week. There’s a big difference.” She was 15 years older than me and I’m 24. Should I be mad or not?

— Tricked, Osborne Village

Dear Tricked: You might as well laugh. Yes, she pulled a trick on you and she knew it. She wasn’t going to mention her husband until she got what she wanted from you, so you wouldn’t run away too quickly. Did you have a good time? Is there any chance you would have even wanted her to be your real girlfriend?

File this under “good times” and keep searching for a girlfriend. This was a bump in the road that didn’t hurt anything except your pride. Try to laugh it off, and here’s one time you don’t have to worry too much about sharing a story with yourself as the butt of the joke. Just don’t mention her name. That much of a gentleman you should always be. Since this lady gets around, we can only hope you used the single person’s best friend — a good quality condom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a dog and took her home from the shelter. I live in a house with a nice yard. I hear she’s lonely when I’m away at work. I could afford to buy a second dog, for company for her. Should I do it?

— New Dog Daddy, East Kildonan

Dear New Dog Daddy: If the neighbours are the ones telling you your dog’s lonely, listen up! It sounds like maybe you’re leaving her outside all day in the freezing weather. That’s cruel treatment. You could lose the dog, and be in legal trouble.

If the neighbours can hear her barking from inside your house, that’s a less difficult problem. Start dropping home during your lunch break or paying someone in the neighbourhood who dog-sits to come by when you’re at work to feed the dog, give her water and let her out to do her business. Your dog sitter could take her for a little walk too.

Dogs require love, food, water, exercise and attention. It’s like having furry kids. You have to be prepared to look after them and pay for their needs. Should you get a second dog? See how it works out with one first, treating her with all the care and attention you can.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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