Wife’s declaration of love ruined by use of wrong name

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This article was published 20/03/2016 (3529 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I went out to our cottage early this season and went for a walk on the beach with a bottle of red wine. It was great wine — we shared the whole bottle and necked a bit against a tree. It was windy and a bit cold so I put my arms around her and held her very close from the back. Then she turned and flung her arms around me and said, “Oh Tom, I love you so!” That would’ve been great, except my name is not Tom. She quickly said, “Oh, I’m sorry I meant (my name).” There is a man named Tom who is big in her working life and she does a lot with him on projects. Why would that happen if she were not thinking of him as a lover?

I am her husband and she is perfectly aware of my name, which is nothing like his. I’m deeply troubled. I wonder if she is having more than a working relationship with him, or if she just fantasizes about him and it slipped out? What do you think?

— Feeling Sick, Winnipeg

Dear Feeling Sick: If she worked a lot of time with a certain staffer and his name slipped out instead of yours in general daily conversation, I wouldn’t be worried. The fact it came out in the middle of an uninhibited embrace with the passionate “love you so!” business attached is worrisome. It could have been the liquor playing with her word-retrieval memory. It could be the way parents say the wrong names of siblings to them sometimes, or it could be much more. Ask her more about Tom and watch her expressions as she speaks, don’t look away. Good luck, and write back!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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