Don’t ask, don’t tell could result in messy affair

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/03/2016 (3854 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m very attracted to a man I’ve met while volunteering for a political campaign and I don’t know his romantic or marital status. He doesn’t wear a wedding ring. How do I ask him if he’s available? It seems like such a bold question to just come out and ask. I don’t know him that well, but I just feel strongly attracted to him and spend a lot of time fantasizing about what it would be like to touch him, kiss him and go even further. He probably sees me mentally undressing him. I try not to stare too much, but I sometimes fail. How do I find out if he’s available or even attracted to me?

— Interested Younger Woman, Winnipeg

Dear Interested Younger Woman: Screw up your courage, so you don’t screw up your life. The three words in the question “Are you married?” are really worth asking early in the game of attraction. If a guy says yes, then you know to back off. If he hesitates, he may not have formally married someone, but is living with her (or him). If he says, “Why do you ask?” you can just say “I’m interested in the answer,” and smile.

It’s the madly-attracted people who don’t ask who end up in messes with people already involved in a relationship. You would be surprised how many people get weeks or longer into an unwitting affair because they haven’t asked.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography