Don’t be scared by ‘bunch of children’ comment

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/03/2016 (3842 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got married young, then twice more as an adult. I’m finally quite good at sex, and my third wife says she is “more than happy” with me that way. I came from a religious background and was married off as soon as I had a first inkling about loving/liking a girl. (Anything to prevent a shameful out-of-wedlock child.) We didn’t have one — we hardly had a chance because she hated sex and marriage when she was just a young girl, and wanted to go home to mama. I moved to the city and was so lonely I grabbed onto the first girlfriend I had and married her, more or less for company. We had a child, and that didn’t work out either. I didn’t love her, and she felt it.

Then I decided to go to college and had a wonderful experience, dated a number of girls and have a great career. A few years ago I married again. I finally had the sexual experience, the charm and the benefit of all those mistakes to make me a good husband. The trouble now is my wife wants to have “a bunch” of children, and she’s already 33. I would be OK with one more, but she wants a big family. Would I be a fool to deny her that? I really do love her.

— Walking on Eggshells, Winnipeg

Dear Walking on Eggshells: Given time and your continued good humour, this could turn out to be a non-problem. Most women in their 30s with babies are pretty tired and don’t want as many as they thought, once they have the first or second. Don’t make it a problem by fighting over the number. She will have baby No. 1 and possibly No. 2, and it will get tiring. I know from experience. I delivered my kids at 38 1/2 and just before turning 40. Sheer exhaustion makes it seem like you already have “a bunch!”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for The Snuggler, whose new woman burrows down under the covers after sex and makes an air hole to breathe. Snuggler could burrow down under the covers, make his own air hole and snuggle there. Over coffee in the morning, he could ask why she burrows. By joining her, he will have shown acceptance, so it won’t come across as an attempt to change her. She might choose to stay down there, and he might enjoy nesting under the covers from time to time, and thereby show his willingness to share her feelings.

— Sincerely, A Follower Abroad

Dear Sincerely: Thanks for the good advice for The Snuggler. Much appreciated. And thanks for reading my Miss Lonelyhearts column outside of Canada. I am hearing many people read it daily online from their winter homes, or even if they’re on a shorter holiday. Cheers, Miss L.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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