Tell Mr. Kissy Lips nicknames are done

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This article was published 21/08/2016 (3671 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend calls me a pet name which is rude and refers to my big shapely butt that wiggles when I walk. He loves it, but I don’t like that name! I’ve tried to get him to stop, but he won’t. Help me! — Totally Embarrassed, Downtown

Dear Totally Embarrassed: The best way to stop a name-caller who won’t quit is to come up with a pet name for him that makes him realize how embarrassing it feels.

But don’t devastate him with a name to do with the size of his manhood. Aim higher, something cutesy like Mr. Kissy Lips would make your point quickly.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just got a big shock. This grey-haired man in his late 50s walked into our workplace and looked kind of familiar. He was introduced as the new head of the company. By mid-morning, it dawned on me who he was: it was the same guy who fired me at my first job more than 25 years ago at a different company for sleeping on the job (I was a big party boy then, age 19).

I actually went to Europe to grow up, as he had so sarcastically suggested when he fired me, and I ended up working there, in the same general business. I came home to Winnipeg and applied at the competition of my old place and rose through the ranks. Now he is hired here.

He didn’t notice me, but I will run into him soon. How should I handle him? — Formerly Fired, Winnipeg

Dear Formerly Fired: Although the memory is burned into your mind of what he said about going to Europe, it probably didn’t mean that much to him. He may remember, or not.

So walk up to him and say pleasantly, “A long time ago I took your advice and went to Europe, where I worked for some years, and grew up. I had a very interesting time and learned a lot about this business. I just wanted to say hello and welcome you to the company,” and hold out your hand to shake it.

That says silently, “No hard feelings.” Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-girlfriend is stalking me after many months of being split. Her new boyfriend just dumped her. I’ve seen her car parked down the block many times in the last month. What she’s looking for, I don’t know. The curtains are closed, and I live toward the back of the house. I don’t want to get my ex in trouble with the police, as I loved her for a long time. I don’t even tell my new girlfriend what’s happening because she’s tough, athletic and excitable and might go after my ex. What do you think I should do? — Being Watched, Winnipeg

Dear Being Watched: Call your ex’s family. Tell them what is happening and tell them to get her to stop, otherwise you will have to call the police and press charges.

Don’t beg them. Be no-nonsense. You could call her friends, but she won’t take them seriously.

Your ex needs to understand her game is over and nothing will make you come back. Plus, she’s about to land her herself in serious legal trouble.

If her family won’t or can’t help, an intermediate step could be a stiffly worded letter of warning from your lawyer.

Whatever you do, don’t approach her car yourself to try to talk some sense into her if she continues stopping by. Call the police immediately and tell them she’s stalking your house again.

Keep a log so you can tell them about other dates and times and note that you are ready to take legal action.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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