Turn to old friends, Facebook to track twin

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 01/09/2016 (3324 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Please answer me on the first day of September, as this is very important to me. I had a twin sister who was given away. The people took her on the very day we were born, Sept. 1, and they promised my mother to take care of her “with love.” My mother didn’t have enough money to look after two babies, nor the strength to nurse two. We were very poor, and there was no dad in our lives. Mom never made a secret of the fact I had a twin sister she had to give up. We always wondered where she went. It was arranged privately by a lawyer back in the ‘50s.

My mother died recently and the lawyer died long before that. I always wondered if this baby sister who shared the womb with me would magically find me and show up, but she never did. What should I do? — Anonymous Twin, Manitoba

Dear Anonymous Twin: Ancestry tracers have the tools and knowledge of record banks to find many “lost” relatives — unless, as I suspect, this baby was born at home and no records were kept. The people came to get her so quickly, they may have only lived a few hours away.

You’d be best to go back to your family’s old neighbourhood and talk to older neighbours and your mom’s friends at the time. Tell them any information will help. Mothers who must give away babies are likely to talk of that awful pain to somebody close, but not necessarily family.

Do you know if you were identical or fraternal twins? It might be good to have a presence on Facebook with pictures of yourself at different ages, and say you are looking for this sister. If you have an identical twin somewhere, the resemblance might be a clue for someone who knew your twin at a certain age.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been with this woman who lives across the street for 13 years and she won’t marry me. I don’t know why and she won’t tell me. I think it has to do with money. She doesn’t want to have a spouse and have to share anything — like owning a house, or her pot of money when she dies. She’s so tight she has the first nickle she ever made. I pay for absolutely everything when we got out, or we don’t go out of her house.

I actually do love her, although she’s an ornery thing at age 76. For some reason, I really want her to marry me and live with me. She likes things the way they are. We sleep together quite a bit, but I guess we’re not in a common-law relationship, as long as we maintain two residences. Why I am obsessed with being married to her? — 13 Years Waiting, West End

Dear 13 Years Waiting: It’s gotten to be a challenge, don’t you think? But face some facts here. If it didn’t suit you somehow to be single and living apart from her, you would have broken up with her a decade ago. Make a list of what does suit you about the living arrangement. Do you like having your buddies over for poker? Is she a bit overbearing and you like to take breaks? You smoke, she doesn’t? Write back with the rest of the story!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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