Stop betting on lame horse, find a finisher

Opinion

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This article was published 31/08/2016 (3324 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went on a date with a good-looking man I met online two weeks ago. We had one great date on a Friday and he invited me to spend the rest of the weekend together out at his farm. I used to be a country girl myself. We got along famously and I helped him with the chores, we barbecued, went swimming at a beach and played a board game.

We were exhausted from being outdoors all weekend, so nothing happened in bed Saturday night, but we cuddled. Finally, we made love on the Sunday before I left, but it didn’t go so well on his side. I wrote it off as nerves. It was no big deal for me, but apparently it was a deal breaker for him. He has not called me since. I have called him twice and he was friendly, but brief. What should I do?

— Confused and Hurt, Fort Rouge

Dear Confused and Hurt: If this were a horse race, he’d be a scratch — he’s not running this race anymore, he’s back in the barn, munching hay. This man didn’t know if you would work out as anything more than a weekend fling. Who knows — he may have a woman who was out of town that weekend.

At any rate, either person has the right to veto a romance at any time, and that’s that. He has! You should do the same. Completely remove yourself. It doesn’t matter if he’s ashamed about his sexual performance, or what the problem is. You liked him more than he liked you.

P.S. Next time don’t accept an invitation to spend a weekend away with a new man, as it’s moving way too fast.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My handyman husband is willing to help any neighbour with a problem — plumbing, electrical, carpentry, you name it, and he’s right in there like a dirty shirt. A newly single woman just moved onto the street, and she thinks my husband is the best neighbour ever! She’s had him over for every little fix-it problem you can imagine.

I got so sick of hearing her name, I went over to visit when he was fixing the draining system on her washer. I knocked and they didn’t hear me. I went down to the basement, and here’s what I saw: he was working and she was standing there with a martini in her hand, wearing the briefest cut-off shorts and a low-necked T-shirt that showed off her big boobs. I went nuts.

I grabbed his arm and he came up from what he was doing, looking all confused. He asked me what I was doing. I answered: “What is she doing dressed like that and making drinks for the two of you?” His martini glass was sitting on the dryer, half gone. I roared in her face, “Stay away from my husband!” and hauled him out. He claims total innocence, but I told him he was going back there over my dead body. He said he would decide that on his own.

Now I’m scared he wants her and something is going on. I’m really sick to my stomach because I love him. Please help. me!

— Losing Him? Transcona

Dear Losing Him: What’s done is done — it could be nothing or it could be the start of something. But now that you’ve outed this flirtation, it’s going to be hard for it to continue in the neighbourhood. She might call him at work, and he might respond to a get-together.

You may not like this advice, but your best move is to act as if you’re past it, and reel him back in by being friendly, fun and sexy so he remembers he really loves you, not her, and why. Make him see it would be foolish to wreck the marriage he’s got over this woman who gave him a chase and an ego boost.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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