Young peeping tom caught by her mom

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This article was published 08/09/2016 (3661 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live in an apartment. I like spying on my neighbour in the next block because he’s real cute, leaves his curtains open and gets undressed with the lights on. I’m 13 (a girl) and I’ve just been getting a little education. Last night, my mom came in without the decency to knock, and caught me. I said, like a smart ass, “What, do you want me to go over and apologize to him? That would be fun!”

Then she said, “Good idea!” and grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and marched me over to his apartment steps, telling me what I would say to him when we get to his door. She buzzed up and said we were neighbours. When he was letting us in and my mom was opening the door, I quickly wrenched away and ran to a friend’s house. I didn’t come home for two hours and by that time it was really late. She was crying and I was crying. I still think she was wrong to try to punish me like that. What do you think? We will both be watching for your letter. — Bad Mom & Daughter, Osborne Village

Dear Mom & Daughter: That punishment was not a good one. First, a young man doesn’t need to know a girl of 13 has been watching him undress, although he could have been aware somebody was peeping and may have enjoyed putting on a performance. Second, punishments should not be designed to embarrass and humiliate, as they can leave a lasting psychological scar.

I think a talking to about basic privacy and a caution not to do it again probably would have sufficed as punishment, as you were embarrassed to begin with. As for running off and staying away late at night — that’s scary! You should have phoned your mom to say you were safe at a friend’s.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 16 and going back to high school much taller, as I “grew like a weed” all summer. How do I react when people ask what happened to me? I need a smart answer back. — Over Six Feet Tall, Winnipeg

Dear Over Six Feet: Don’t act rattled or even uncomfortable. Just wink and say, “I’m not telling, but it was a lot of fun and it sure makes you grow.” Then smile and be gone so you don’t have to come up with another smart remark in a hurry.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I tend to naturally burp when I go up or down stairs, or get in and out of a car, or even stand up from a bed. I don’t know how to stop this, but I would like to, because I sometimes run into people in my apartment block when I’m alone and they hear my big belches and give me looks. — Windy Guy, St. Vital

Dear Windy Guy: There’s burping politely and there’s belching. If you were in a fancy restaurant, you might put your hand over your mouth and internalize the burp somewhat. There no need to let fly on the stairs in your apartment with a big disgusting sound. Do that when you know it’s safe and you’re totally alone. And don’t expect your loved one to enjoy it like you do. That’s one of the many things people can do to de-romanticize themselves, bit by bit.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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