Can’t be mad at brother for similar behaviour

Advertisement

Advertise with us

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I sleep downstairs in the basement, and my younger brother sleeps in the bedroom above me, on the first floor. My parents sleep upstairs on the second floor. I thought I was the only one sneaking my girlfriend in the house, but last night I heard unmistakable sounds and the ceiling shaking above me, so now I know my brother is sneaking his girlfriend in the house, too. He is only 16, and his girlfriend is older and (I hear) quite experienced. I’m 18. I am worried for him because he is, as my mom puts it, a “devil-may-care” kind of guy and pretty immature.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/09/2016 (3672 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I sleep downstairs in the basement, and my younger brother sleeps in the bedroom above me, on the first floor. My parents sleep upstairs on the second floor. I thought I was the only one sneaking my girlfriend in the house, but last night I heard unmistakable sounds and the ceiling shaking above me, so now I know my brother is sneaking his girlfriend in the house, too. He is only 16, and his girlfriend is older and (I hear) quite experienced. I’m 18. I am worried for him because he is, as my mom puts it, a “devil-may-care” kind of guy and pretty immature.

I confronted him today about having his girlfriend over to have sex and he said, “You do it yourself. I learned it from you, bro.” Snap! I can’t tell my parents, as he’ll rat on me and my girlfriend.

I’m going to university and can’t afford to move out. He would just move into my basement bedroom and take over where I left off anyway. I’m a very careful, cautious guy, and am all about protection. My girlfriend is on the pill and we also use a condom. My brother? Not so much, I’m guessing, and his taste runs to girls almost my age, so it probably isn’t a first time thing for them. What should I do? — Double Trouble, West Winnipeg

Dear Double Trouble: As much as you’re being responsible about preventing a pregnancy with your girlfriend, you know you’re breaking the house rules. You can’t expect to have control over your brother when you have modelled this behaviour for him.

Either you both stop, and nothing is said to your parents, or you both accept you’re doing something dangerous and against your parents’ wishes, and have a talk with them about it. “We’re sorry, but we’ve been bringing our girlfriends to our rooms. Are you OK with it as long as we use proper protection?” Most likely the parents are going to say/yell no because they don’t want your girlfriends getting pregnant under their roof and the parents of the girls coming over with pitchforks and torches. Seriously, your parents love you and don’t want to see your young lives get complicated, either.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Love is not the feeling I have for my boyfriend, and that’s the word he’s started saying to me. I cannot tell a lie. I like him a lot and think he’s funny and sweet, but I know in my heart I don’t love him.

I wish there was a word in the middle. I feel embarrassed when he says it to me. When he says it in bed, I feel really badly when I give him silence in return. It’s so lame to say, “I like you, too,” when you’re in the throes of passion.

Can you and your readers tell me what they say when they’re faced with an “I love you” they can’t return? I replied thanks last time and he stopped what he was doing and said, “Thanks? Really?” and soon went home. No cuddling after the lovemaking, just goodbye. — Mixed Up, Rural Manitoba

Dear Mixed Up: Perhaps a discussion and goodbye is appropriate if you know this is not the guy for you and you’re wasting his time. Is he looking for real love, or does he just think it’s a thing to say in bed?

Although it’s true people can come to the “I love you” words at different speeds, you pretty much know if you’re chugging toward the same railway station or not.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Ferraro gets call-up to the Jets

Mike McIntyre 5 minute read Preview

Ferraro gets call-up to the Jets

Mike McIntyre 5 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 6:56 PM CDT

Landon Ferraro vividly recalls the moment his NHL career came to an extremely painful end — Oct. 20, 2017, in downtown Winnipeg.

“My last play was a breakaway on Connor Hellebuyck,” Ferraro told the Free Press this week.

“I tried to poke the puck past the first D. It was me and (Dustin) Byfuglien chasing it down. I thought he was going to throw me across the ice, so I tried to cut in on him, and he moved. I overextended, and I literally ripped my abductor off the bone and gave myself a hernia.”

Ferraro — at the time playing forward for the visiting Minnesota Wild — said he managed to get off a weak shot that hit the Jets goaltender square in the chest. But his 77th appearance in the big leagues would be his last following previous stops with Detroit (which drafted him 32nd overall in 2009) and Boston.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 6:56 PM CDT

Who has been invited to the table?

Stephen Borys 6 minute read Preview

Who has been invited to the table?

Stephen Borys 6 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Last Friday, I spoke at Booth University College’s inaugural Honour and Hope Harvest Dinner in support of Shelter U. I had been asked to speak about the power of art in the community, a subject I have spent much of my professional life thinking about — as a museum director, writer and teacher, and now through my consulting work with Civic Muse.

What continues to interest me is not simply what museums, universities and other public institutions do, but whether their work actually matters — whether they make a difference in the lives of the people and communities around them.

Preparing for the evening brought me back to an even more fundamental question: Who has been invited in?

One of my museum mentors used to remind me that institutions often begin the conversation about public engagement too late. Before engagement comes the welcome, and before the welcome comes the invitation. We can create extraordinary buildings, exhibitions and programs and say that everyone is welcome. But unless people believe that these places are also meant for them, many will never cross the threshold.

Read
2:01 AM CDT

Letters, Oct. 1

6 minute read Preview

Letters, Oct. 1

6 minute read Updated: 7:45 AM CDT

Did anyone else see the irony when Premier Wab Kinew announced at the Selkirk Mental Health Centre that Manitoba would adopt permanent Daylight Time (DT) and had hired 17 new psychiatrists this year?

Read
Updated: 7:45 AM CDT

Bombers coach happy to be back at work after backbreaking loss to Argos

Taylor Allen 6 minute read Preview

Bombers coach happy to be back at work after backbreaking loss to Argos

Taylor Allen 6 minute read Tuesday, Sep. 29, 2026

It’s the first practice day after a backbreaking loss.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers are in a challenging predicament with four games remaining — starting Saturday on the road against the Montreal Alouettes (11-3) — that leaves their playoff aspirations far from solidified.

And yet, head coach Mike O’Shea makes his way behind the podium, looks out at a room of reporters and is grinning ear to ear.

Why so happy?

Read
Tuesday, Sep. 29, 2026

PUB should set Winnipeg water, sewer rates; that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be lower

Tom Brodbeck 4 minute read Preview

PUB should set Winnipeg water, sewer rates; that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be lower

Tom Brodbeck 4 minute read 2:40 PM CDT

There are good arguments for putting Winnipeg’s water and sewer rates under the control of Manitoba’s Public Utilities Board.

Read
2:40 PM CDT

Acquisition of former residential school grounds will help educate future generations: premier

Connor McDowell and Morgan Modjeski 5 minute read Preview

Acquisition of former residential school grounds will help educate future generations: premier

Connor McDowell and Morgan Modjeski 5 minute read Tuesday, Sep. 29, 2026

Premier Wab Kinew says a former Brandon-area campground acquired by the province will help educate future generations about the horrors of residential schools.

“We live in an era where people are trying to deny what happened in residential schools,” Kinew said during a Tuesday afternoon visit to Turtle Crossing Campground, near the former Brandon Indian Residential School. “It’s an important part of our national history, and keeping that truth alive.”

Kinew officially announced the province’s plan Tuesday, in partnership with the City of Brandon, to acquire and protect the site where the bodies of more than 50 Indigenous children are located.

The premier said the property has “huge national significance” for education about residential school history because it is one of the “most documented” in the country. He carried photographs, and some 20th century newspaper clippings from the Brandon Sun around the site Tuesday.

Read
Tuesday, Sep. 29, 2026