Cheater wonders if she has blundered

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This article was published 07/10/2016 (3636 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I snuck off to a clandestine meeting with my old boyfriend at a hotel in town and we spent the day in bed. I did it because I was bored with my husband sexually and my ex wanted to talk about the chances of getting back together again. I felt really sick of him after the sex. He felt the opposite. I realized I was right to dump him and marry my best friend. Still, the sex with Bad Boy was always fantastic and a bit quirky, but he could never hold a job, and by the end of that afternoon he was asking to borrow $100 from me.

I felt guilty going home after seeing him, but the meeting put to rest wondering if I had married the wrong guy. My husband is boring but he’s loving.

He’s not the best in bed, but he’s good enough. I love him more now than I did before seeing my ex and I will be happy to stay his wife to the end of my life. He adores me.

I’m know I’m going to suffer guilt over what I have done and wonder if I should tell my husband. I vowed many things in my wedding ceremony, but I don’t remember vowing to tell the truth. That would only hurt him, the kids and me. What should I do? —Starting to Feel the Guilt, Winnipeg

Dear Starting to Feel the Guilt: Get yourself tested for sexually trans-mitted diseases from Bad Boy, and if you have one, you’ll have to confess.

If you plan to stay forever and be happy, then telling him about cheating may not help that.

Let’s hope your ex won’t spill the secret, call your husband out of spite or blackmail you if he needs cash.

You may choose to keep the secret, let the guilt be your punishment and hope for the best. But if the guilt is killing you, you’re going to have to confess. Only you can decide.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don’t drink at home, but I drink when I’m out and stay overnight wherever I am or sleep in my car. I’ve slept in some pretty crazy places. Drinking has become a bit of a problem for me. I don’t think I can stop now. Actually, I don’t want to stop because I love it and I haven’t had to pay a big enough price for it.

My last girlfriend told me I was an alcoholic, but I didn’t believe her. She drank more than I did, so what did she know? She was always in worse shape and I would have to get her rides home with other people because I don’t drive when I drink. I’d rather sleep on somebody’s floor. I had a friend once who got into a terrible accident when he was drinking, so I learned, but that didn’t stop me from drinking. I don’t know how far down the alcoholic road I’ve gotten but my dad was a drinker. It bothers me being called an alcoholic. What should I do? — Not Dead Yet, St. Vital

Dear Not Dead Yet: Call the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba and go in for a chat and some testing, and you’ll find out where you are on the risky road to alcoholism.

Ask questions about what happens to your body and mind after a certain number of years of heavy drinking.

Push for information to get turned off the booze, so you don’t end up sick, unable to work and undesirable to women and friends.

You probably wouldn’t have written in if you weren’t ready to do something. So call the AFM at 204-944-6200 and ask for an appointment.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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