Standing date always ends horizontally

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This article was published 05/10/2016 (3636 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Neither of my two best friends has a boyfriend, but I do. My friends look up to me, but I have to lie about my relationship to keep their respect. He ignores me for days on end, and I’ve heard rumours he sees other women, but we do have a standing Saturday night date where we go out for dinner to the same place then go home to my place and go to bed. I guess you wouldn’t call that a “standing” date. Ha ha. Anyway I can tell you it isn’t funny when he doesn’t stay to cuddle all night and goes home to his own bed.

I call him during the week, but he never wants to talk. He has many sports interests that keep him busy during the week. He’s not the best boyfriend, and sometimes he makes me cry, but at least I have one. My girlfriends have nothing. We are all in our 50s, divorced or single and empty-nesters. It’s so hard to find a man.

— Hang On to What You Got, Winnipeg

Dear Hang On to What you Got: What if you could order up a new man without having to do much work?

Would you leave this nasty guy who’s just using you for once-a-week sex for someone better?

Yes, looking for love is a kind of work — an ongoing effort — and it requires personal revelations and taking chances and having nerves in your stomach on first dates, but online dating can bring a lot of men across your field of vision. And all that’s required is for you to respond to the ones you like and ignore the ones you don’t.

You can go on one date with each man and keep on passing until you meet a great guy who you feel is the right fit for you.

Why would you stay another week with a man who treats you so badly, openly cheats on you and makes you cry on a routine basis when you could have something so much better?

Free yourself, get online with your girlfriends and lead the charge to a better love life.

For starters, why not plan to go on a singles cruise this winter, where there are lots of activities and it’s a fun way to meet people?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m falling in love with one of my professors, and the good news is he’s single and not gay.

I got the inside line on him because my mom knows his aunt, and they talk. He’s everything I want in a man: funny, good-looking, outgoing, friendly and intelligent.

I know it would be wise to wait out this half course before going after him, but if I wait too long he’ll be taken because he’s such a cutie.

I don’t care if I cross a few boundaries to get to him.

Recently, I made an appointment to go to his office to see him on an assignment-based excuse.

Should I mention that my aunt knows his mom? Would that make things feel closer or would it scare him away?

— So Attracted! University of Manitoba

Dear So Attracted: For a professor, seeing a woman who’s in your class is dangerous on many fronts and considered an unintelligent move for everyone involved.

First, he opens himself up to sexual-harassment charges if things don’t go well between the two of you and you decide that you want to take revenge on him.

Secondly, it compromises your mark. Either he’ll be afraid to mark you as high as you deserve in case the secret gets out that you’re sleeping with him, or he’s afraid to mark you too low, even if you deserve it, because you’re sleeping with him and it would cause problems between the two of you.

You only have to wait it out a half year and you can be friendly and make yourself known to him as an attractive single lady in the meantime.

Maybe after class is finished and all the marks are in, you can even be so bold as to ask him out, but not while you are his student.

As for mentioning the family connection, an inter-family pipeline often acts as more of a turn-off than a reason to get together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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