Girlfriend wants to ride the pony for a change

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/10/2016 (3641 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend and I are what some people might call kinky.

For us, variations on boring sex keep us from snoring.

Both of us are interested in playing human pony, but both of us want to be the one riding.

I went out and had a leather artist make us a soft saddle and a beautifully decorated harness. But even though I am the submissive, now I want to be the one riding the pony.I know this sounds petty, but I have always waited on my guy hand and foot when we play games — and loved it — but now I want him to prance and dance for me.

I have a long history of horse riding in my non-sexual life and he has no connection to it. Is it asking too much?

— A Little Sub Revolt, Wolseley

Dear A Little Sub Revolt: It’s definitely your turn to have the dominant role.

Lovers who play power games should try out the opposite role to their usual once in a while and understand the value of seeing things from the other side.

With that experience, you can improve the game and other games with your lover when you switch back.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend’s parents don’t like me because I’m white and she isn’t.

My parents have fully embraced my girlfriend.

They’re unprejudiced people who don’t give a rip what colour she is; they just love her because she’s wonderful.

We met in high school and loved each other from afar. We ended up at the same university and started seeing each other secretly.

It was exclusive from the first date on, and I plan to marry her one day.

She feels the same, but her parents would like me to take my white mug and drop off the face of the earth. They had always thought she would — and should — marry a person from their same religion and community.

Their daughter is a strong-willed woman and will do what she pleases, but I really wish she wouldn’t lose her family over our love.

I have been told that grandchildren often bring the estranged grandparents back, but what if they refuse to come to their daughter’s wedding? That would tear her heart out. What do you suggest?

— White and Unwelcome, Winnipeg

Dear White and Unwelcome: Never mind trying to wrangle a formal dinner invitation.

Can you slip in behind your girlfriend at another time of the day and not get kicked out the door?

It would be best if you could visit with just one parent — the easiest one to win over.

First, do your research. How much do you know about their culture back home?

Study so you know about the history and geography and struggles they had before coming to Canada — and since.

Do you speak the family’s mother tongue? How about learning? Do what you can to blend in with their culture instead of being an ignorant outsider.

Are there cousins, aunts or uncles you could start working to get to know (with your girlfriend’s help)?

Consider it a campaign and make a plan to win over as much of the family as you can.

When the rest of the family gives you their vote, it will be much harder for the mom and dad to keep their noses in the air.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a crazy neighbour, poking her little nose into everybody’s business and offering to help neighbours with everything, including leaf-raking and gathering (which she roped me into) for an old lady.

She is always baking stuff for people who are under the weather. Then she makes me help by carrying it over and going in to visit.

I know what she’s up to, but I’m an introvert and happy to stay that way.

As you have guessed, she’s a raving extrovert. I admire her, but I don’t want to be pushed into acting like one.

I’d rather stay home, smoke my pipe and read.

How should I handle her when she pushes me to be too friendly?

I feel like such an awkward goof banging on a neighbour’s door with my wife’s casserole.

— Shy and Introverted, St. Vital

Dear Shy and Introverted: Tell your wife you’ll only carry the food if she comes with you so you feel more comfortable and she gets the credit for doing the sweet neighbourly thing.

That will be your job.

You make sure you tell the neighbour who really did all the work and present your wife as the star she is.

Then they’ll start gabbing together and you can go back home.

When she gets home later, you can tell her how proud you are of her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In response to Tricked by Beauty, why does he feel tricked? Not every person in the world is a pet-lover.

She didn’t trick him. As soon as he started talking about his pets, she let him know how she felt about having them in her house.

This does not make her a mean person. That’s very judgmental. Only pet lovers are good people?

— Annoyed, Winnipeg

Dear Annoyed: You’re half right.

It just makes these two a poor fit for anything long-term.

Pet people should pair up with other pet-loving people for a life that’s full and fun for both.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6