Mysterious, flirty wife making him go crazy

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This article was published 30/10/2016 (3623 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Jealousy is eating me up! I don’t exactly hate my wife, but I can’t say I even like her anymore. She has become so secretive, and she likes nothing more than to make me jealous. I was never a jealous person before, but then I never had a wife like this before. (I have had two wives previously.)

This woman comes home late, and when I ask where she’s been, she’ll say something such as, “Wouldn’t you like to know!” or something childish like, “I forget.” Then she smirks and walks off. Sometimes I just want to slap her, though I’m not that kind of guy.

I overheard her complain to a girlfriend at the bar that I am too jealous. Meanwhile, she had just come off the dance floor where a guy was running his hand up and down her spine and down her hip, and she was looking over her shoulder and smirking at me. Can you help or is it impossible? — Fed Up With Her Flirting, Winnipeg

Dear Fed Up With Her Flirting: Jealousy is a strange thing. The word is most often said in a way that implies it is unwarranted, yet there are many couples where one or both deliberately do things to make their mate feel they’re interested in another person, or that another person is coming after them and they are welcoming it.

A therapist would be your best bet for help. That person could see the interactions between you two in the office and speak to you apart as well, to hear your unedited sides of these situation. Some people do set out to make their mate jealous because it makes them feel wanted, to get even for something or because a display of jealousy makes them feel loved. Has your relationship grown cold sexually and/or emotionally in recent years?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a new friend — a baby. My next-door neighbour has several preschool children and very little money. One day she asked me why I was always at home, and I told her I had a medical problem. She asked if I wouldn’t mind holding her baby for a bit while she chased one of her kids who was running down the block.

The baby was delightful and fun. He and I bonded immediately, and he loved my cat, too. Now his mom and I have worked out something where he comes to see me for half an hour twice a day most days, and she gets a little break to deal with only two kids instead of three. I just love it!

I used to ignore my neighbours because I was afraid they would be a problem or a burden on me, but getting to know them has been my salvation. I was slipping into depression before, and now I am so happy. I have got to know the other two children, and they’re lovely. It’s great to have found these new friends, who were right next door to me all the time. — New “Gramma”, St. James

Dear New Gramma: Congratulations on making a baby-aged friend, a young mom as another friend and two other children. Each person enriches you by sharing the unique experiences in their lives. Keep expanding other friendships with people close to your home. This will be great, especially if you’re not very mobile. Get known for your tea and baking gifts — become the local grandma!

Friends in a person’s life should come in all ages as they often do in small villages, but in cities where people don’t know if they can trust their neighbours, they often miss out meeting some great people. There are lots of missed opportunities when neighbours don’t take the time to talk, but you can open conversations by saying a little more each time you meet and finally asking a question that starts a larger conversation.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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