Semi-nude Halloween pictures only a treat for one

Opinion

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This article was published 31/10/2016 (3268 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband and I are in our late 20s, love Halloween and have the whole house and yard decorated in spooky Halloween stuff for weeks. Sometimes we throw parties for our friends, and sometimes we go out and hit a few bars where we know other friends will be in costume and there will be prizes. We’ve won quite a few contests! This year, my husband suggested we kick it up a notch and privately pose for a few erotic shots in our costumes at the end of the night. He suggested we both go topless, in our battle gear.

I do have great breasts, but I told him it was easy for him to show off his bare chest, but I was worried about exposing my private parts. He assured me no one would ever see the pictures but us. Famous last words, right? I’m not so sure I trust my darling. What do you think?

— Weirded Out, South Winnipeg

Dear Weirded Out: Great, exciting photos are taken to be seen and have a way of getting shown to one or two very best friends via email, demanding a promise they will be instantly deleted. Ha! Female friends are even worse than male buddies at showing just one friend if the shot of them is fantastic. And then she shows another, and on it goes until it’s out there.

It’s bad to let erotic pictures of you get out there. Do you really want your friends, acquaintances, relatives or co-workers to just happen to see a photo of you two semi-naked? And what if you should break up? Sorry to say it, but about 50 per cent of couples do call it quits. You should say, “No thanks, darling,” to this project.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Every Halloween, my husband turns into a 10 year old and wears his latest superhero costume to answer the door for trick-or-treaters.

We always go to a costume party later and I am right there with him — a good sport and wearing a costume, too. And yes, he wants to wear the suit to bed. I roll my eyes and put up with this too.

Is this the price of marriage — going along with this silly sexual stuff at Halloween? Is it equal to him watching figure skating on TV with me or holding my head up if I’m sick? Or should I just put my foot down this year and tell him he can dress up if he wants, but I feel silly doing the bedroom stuff.

— Not a Porn Star, Transcona

Dear Not a Porn Star: There are good marriages and there are great marriages, and people who go along with their partner’s fantasies — and believe me, your husband’s fantasy is pretty harmless — often have the greatest ones. Dressing in costume with him will give your husband a warm, fully-accepted and loved feeling that you supported him and had fun on the day he loves best. For him, it’s one day of the year when he can be a superhero fantasy guy for you.

The thing is, we are not married to carbon copies of ourselves. Our outside appearances are different, and so are our inner thoughts, dreams, desires and fantasies. Being a good sport about that inner-fantasy stuff goes a long way to having a superior marriage.

And here’s a tip: you can take all the hassle out of future Halloween adventures by picking up a few fantastic costumes that express your own mild fantasies at the post-Halloween sales this week. If you have costumes you look forward to wearing in the future, you can relax and enjoy things.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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