Boyfriend wants threesome as present

Opinion

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This article was published 26/12/2016 (3214 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got talked into trying out being bisexual with my boyfriend watching. I agreed to try it when I was in a silly mood after having too much wine. Now he’s trying to push me to set up a threesome on New Year’s Eve. He said it could be my New Year’s present to him. He’s getting really pushy and has even picked one of my single girlfriends who is bi and likes to play around in threesomes.

Last weekend, he had the nerve to ask me if I had asked my friend about the potential threesome. I told him no and got my stuff together and went home. He knows I don’t really want to do it and he would be horrified if I asked him to participate in a threesome with one of his buddies. He would be so jealous! I finally put that to him and he said, “That wasn’t our deal.”

On the way home I thought: “Who would talk like that to his woman, except a pimp?” I haven’t been taking his calls and he’s been leaving sweet messages. Either he’s now afraid of losing me or he’s afraid of losing his chance of having another woman in the bedroom at the same time as me.

What should I say to him? I’m not good with words, but I have to tell him he crossed the line and I feel sick to my stomach when I think of him ordering me to get him a second woman. Help, I think I need to escape! — Not Doing It, West Kildonan

Dear Not Doing It: You have been very clear in your letter to me. You speak well enough to tell anyone off. It doesn’t matter how your words come out, just as long as you give him the message that he’s finished.

If you want to say more, tell him how ill you felt when you heard him ordering you to get him another woman. Tell him you want nothing to do with him. By the way, you don’t owe it to him to break up in person, since he’s being so forceful. Don’t be tricked by the sweet-talking. In fact, you could be this brief — “I’m finished.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw a cute little boy in the mall with his mom. He was looking at me and I was looking at him. We both had red curly hair, blue eyes and big freckles. His mom turned around to see who he was staring at and she looked exactly like me with the same colouring, unusual nose and mouth and a pear-shaped body.

I said, “Excuse me, but I can’t help but notice how similar we all look,” and she said, “What are you thinking?” I told her I thought we could be sisters since I had a sister who my parents gave up for adoption as a baby. With that, she whipped her little boy out of my way and down the mall and they were gone. I honestly think I may have seen my sister and my nephew walking away from me.

I couldn’t chase them. I don’t want to upset anybody’s life, but I do want to know if she is my long-lost sister. Now what do I do? — Saw Her and Lost Her? Winnipeg

Dear Saw Her and Lost Her: If your mother, aunts, uncles or grandmother are around, talk to them all, not just one of them.

There’s always one who is more open than the rest. Tell the relatives you thought you saw your sister, or you’re almost sure you did. Perhaps it was a private adoption and they have all the information somewhere.

Clearly this woman who looks like your sister doesn’t want to see you, at least not yet, and may never. You may be the one who got kept and she wasn’t and that is hurtful to her. Try to get used to the fact she may resent you, if that is the truth of this situation.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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