Early retirement a mistake, now what?

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/06/2018 (2750 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Help! I really enjoyed my work, but now I’ve retired, and way too early — my own stupid idea. That leaves me at home with my husband, who is also retired. He’s overjoyed that I’m now at home and can cook for him. I don’t want to be the chief cook and bottle washer again. I spent many years working and he learned to help. In the past year since he retired, he started doing all the cooking and cleaning and he’s a great cook! I’m not.

He told me I couldn’t sit on my butt after retirement and expect him to do all the housework. He’s right, but that’s what I feel like doing.

He’s not good in bed and he’s a pain to be around 24-7.

—Going Squirrelly, Weston

Dear Squirrelly: Lots of people discover they can’t do the 24-7 with their spouses after they retire and the distracting kids are all gone. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the wife or husband, they just need more activities and more people in their lives.

Get involved with a sport or group activity and start inviting friends and neighbours over. That will require both of you to do the cooking and cleaning together, but you will also have fun again, side by side.

There are many ways to have a fun retirement and do things that are meaningful to you and helpful to society. If you truly miss the kind of work you did, you can probably get a part-time job doing something in the same field.

You might start by approaching your former employer. With summer here, you might be able to fill in for people taking holidays and bring home a paycheque — which is always a good thing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don’t understand where my life is going. I ache from head to foot — heartache, to be truthful. My boyfriend is suddenly gone from my life, and I can’t make contact with him. One day he was sweet and loving, and the next day he was gone. He won’t pick up his phone. He won’t talk on Facebook or email. This is not the day and age where you go and bang on somebody’s door until they open up or harass them with phone calls — you could get charged with stalking. Please give me some ideas about what to do. — Heartache Killing Me, West End

Dear Heart Ache: The most likely explanation is you offended him or he has another woman in his life.

Other than that, he’d break up with you the usual way — by finding the nicest words to say: “That’s it for us. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore.” So, stop doing more of what doesn’t work. Is there someone you trust who knows him well and will let you know if he’s gone back to an old girlfriend — or if you did or said something that hurt or disgusted him so much he doesn’t even want to talk with you?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave.Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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