Young love (or lust) will find a way

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/07/2018 (3003 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a worried dad, facing a Romeo and Juliet problem. We’re summering at Lake of the Woods as usual, but sweating it out. Every other year has been a kind of a paradise for our families on the lake. Last year, the teenage “kids” still wanted to go to camps and were away a lot.

Not this year! Unfortunately, we now have a red-hot teenage couple in our midst who used to be innocent boy and girl buddies, fishing and playing board games and bugging each other. Now they are nearing the end of high school and (suspiciously) asked for a last summer at the lake before they get jobs every summer to support university tuition. Something happened secretly over the winter. With their developing bodies and hot hormones, they rediscovered each other online in a scary new way — a sexy romance.

I’ve never seen them in anything but bathing suits this summer and they’re always touching or sneaking a kiss (or more) in plain view or behind the cabins. These two are crazy about each other to the point where my wife and I and the other parents have had to have a meeting. We decided to dispense warnings and condoms, because “it” is in the air.

Then there’s the damn freedom aspect. All of us parents taught our kids how to be independent on the lake — driving boats, reading maps, navigating short trips around the islands — but no one predicted this problem. Last night, I lost my cool and yelled at the boy to keep “his mitts off my daughter” and she burst into tears and ran to her room. He took off in the boat. My daughter said she hated me and wants to go home to stay. No doubt he does, too.

— S.O.S., Lake of the Woods.

Dear S.O.S.: Teenage lust under a warm sun with lapping water, skimpy bathing suits and hidden beaches is understandably scary. Personally, I’d assess pregnancy as the biggest tragedy — far bigger than the open display of affection and young love you roared about. Your wife could take your daughter to her doctor and get her on the pill, which would provide almost 100 per cent protection when coupled with condoms. Sadly, condoms can sometimes pull off, or rip and who knows what else, if a couple are in a frenzy.

There’s a long summer ahead. You can’t police these two all the time. If you try to keep them apart, they will want each other all the more and find ways to be together, and possibly throw caution to the wind when they think it’s not a dangerous time in her menstrual cycle. Take care of the dangerous consequences of pregnancy protection beyond condoms. That’s the most important thing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m six weeks out from a total hysterectomy. I had some additional repairs done and was recently cleared by my doctor for all activities, including sex. My husband is anxious to get back to our “routine,” but I don’t think I’m ready. I’m scared for him to touch me!

I’m not sure if it’s my body telling me something or my own fears around what it will be like. I don’t want to rush this, but I also don’t want to disappoint my husband. What do I do?

— Put on a Chastity Belt, River Heights

Dear Chastity Belt: Check out the hysterectomy discussion website Hyster Sisters at hystersisters.com/vb2 for info for both you and your husband. He will learn about the extra patience he will have to exercise and the rewards that patience will reap.

It’s often recommended to wait eight weeks or longer — and to make sure you’re ready psychologically, too. That may require some counselling. Being frozen with fear would be a tragedy for the warm and sexual side of your love relationship.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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