Adopt a healthy lifestyle before it’s too late

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This article was published 14/07/2018 (3003 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fear I’m losing my beloved husband to Death by Fat. He joins me pizza for pizza, beer for beer and then some, and he’s getting a big fat paunch.

I eat way too much and don’t gain an ounce. I’m one of those Skinny Minnies who need high calories to stay alive, while my husband needs to stop eating so many calories to get healthy again. We are a bad match, but I love him.

When I approached him again about his dangerous fat problem he got all hurt and said, “You don’t find me attractive anymore?” I said, “I find your personality and your heart as attractive as ever, but your outside look is troubling.”   That’s the word I used, as I’m a teacher.

“Troubling?” he asked, sarcastically. “Well, I hate to trouble you with my looks. Maybe it’s time we said goodbye!”

I started to cry, and he patted my head and kissed me tenderly and said “I love you.” Then we ordered a medium pizza for us both. You see what I mean? Still too much fattening food and eating so inappropriately. Please help us. — In Love With Fatso, Transcona

Dear In Love: You’re one of the those people with a high metabolism. Your husband may well be “troubling” to you, but you’re simply maddening to him.

Look up the statistics related to obesity and mortality and show him why you are troubled that he is mushrooming to such an unhealthy weight. And you’re eating the same bad food. You may have high cholesterol yourself, so check that out.

Can you two start cooking healthy food together? It’s the only way you’ll be able to control what you both eat — but it can’t come out of boxes with 15 chemical ingredients.

There must be 21 healthy dishes (three meals for each day of the week) that you like enough to eat? Then, you can have one pizza and split it on the weekend. That’s just one idea, but your doctor or a dietician could also be a good resource for you. Or you could both keep quiet about it and love each other until one or both of you keel over. That doesn’t sound like fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My live-in is a dirty rat. I recently found out he’s been cheating on me, but he says it isn’t exactly cheating because he doesn’t love any of them and he hasn’t had “real sex” with any of them.

Translation: he’s had oral sex, phone sex or both.

He says the four women I know about so far mean nothing to him.

Should I be out getting my own “non-sex” sex on the side? — Victim of Cheater, Brandon

Dear Victim: You really need to go and talk to a relationship counsellor who can help you to see things more clearly. This rat does a good job of obscuring the view and making you doubt your own feelings.

So, you feel that’s your lot — staying because you’re so in love you have to accept an open relationship where both people are sexually free?

Ask how he feels about you having sex, “but not real sex,” with someone else. Maybe he’ll just say, “Good for you. Now you’re learning.” But it’s doubtful he would mean it.

Your love is probably going to diminish now that you know what he’s up to when he’s not with you. Then, maybe you’ll decide to leave.

Unless you’re really into an open relationship yourself, you’re just headed for emotional abuse, lies and disrespect.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can so relate to how Young-Feeling and Proud feels, the woman who freaked over being automatically handed the 55-plus menu at a restaurant.

I totally agree with your advice to update her look — hairstyle and hair colouring are super important and worth paying a stylist for.

When I was about to turn 50, I was devastated, sure that my life as I knew it was over and I’d never have sex again.

I was prepared to spend the day under the covers feeling sorry for myself, but I eventually got over it. I invited 15 of my closest friends to dinner and drinks at a local restaurant, and prepared table decorations and little menus with lots of clever sayings about women and age.

We had the best evening. I went home weary but happy, and went to work the next morning feeling great. I think aging well has little to do with appearance and more to do with attitude.

There’s nothing we can do about aging except to make the best of it. If all you do is sit and fret, that will take its toll on how you look, far more than age itself will. Interesting, too, that I didn’t meet the love of my life until I was 55! — KB, Southdale

Dear KB: Congrats on finding your true love. No doubt your happy attitude was part of what attracted him. Couples divorce at a rate of 50 per cent these days, so there is no shortage of available singles if you have a good attitude and get out there and actually meet them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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