Affair ‘audition’ all about power

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/07/2018 (2998 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a sweet man who walked almost 3½ kilometres to my home the next day to take me out on a date.

He didn’t tell me he couldn’t drive. It turns out he’s legally blind, but can still ride a bike during the day.

He has a good business and makes a fair bit of money, so he told me. We went for a walk and he pointed out a lot of things about the different trees and flowers we saw. It was totally fascinating.

We stopped for dinner at a place where he knows the owner and had fun.

Then, he walked me home and kissed me goodbye. And that was it.

I fully expected him to be on the phone chasing me, thinking a partially blind man would be thrilled to have a date.

Finally, I called him up and he said he was sorry, but he had three or four women he was seeing right now. He said “nothing went past a kiss” until he really fell for one of them.

I was gobsmacked.

I’m used to “making the cut” with just about any guy. I know this is silly, but it was driving me crazy. Why them and not me?

It couldn’t have been my looks because his vision is limited. Maybe he could see me close up or at a certain angle.

Finally, I called him back and asked him why I didn’t make the grade. He admitted he was already married and was just looking for a girlfriend. He said I seemed like a person who deserved “more than a casual relationship.”

End of story. So weird.

I’m completely confused. What do you make of this?

— Head Spinning, Winnipeg

Dear Spinning: It’s a power issue and a roller-coaster ride, so hang on and let me explain.

First, you thought you were doing this “poor blind man” a favour and had all the power, leaving you at the top of the ride.

Then, you found out he was auditioning women for an affair and you didn’t make the cut. Now, he had all the power and you were at the bottom of the ride.

Then, he told you he thought you were too good for a casual relationship. But after a few minutes of feeling you were special, you realized that he just wasn’t interested in you and he had all the power again.

That’s it, time to get off this roller-coaster. Next riders, please!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My neighbour slapped my face when I was eight and I never forgot it. I ran home crying with that woman’s handprint still on my face.

I told my mother I stole three cookies that were cooling. My little mother went over and winged her a good one right back across the face.

I have wondered all my life how she could slap that woman’s face, but her kids swore Mom did it, and said a bad word, too.

My mother was never a violent person. I was glad she did it. I never asked her about it while she was alive and now it’s too late.

She and that neighbour never spoke again. How could my mom have gone nuts like that?

— Middle-Aged Guy, West End

Dear Middle-aged Guy: You have never been a mother. And you have never seen the red fingerprint of another adult’s hand on your young child’s face. The rage? Whoa! I bet your mother’s feet barely touched the ground as she sped over to tear a strip off the woman who assaulted her little one — stolen cookies or not — and then smacked her back.

Things were more physical in those days and so no one thought to press charges over something like that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I truly have a lonely heart this summer. My husband moved off with his affair witch and I am all alone.

My daughter and son tell me I’m better off without him.

I know what town they moved to, and have a mind to drive out there and pay them a visit. They can’t have a perfect little honeymoon hideaway while I have nothing!

— Revenge is Sweet, Transcona

Dear Revenge: Actually, the two lovebirds can live in peace if they wish.

You are threatening to go out and disturb the peace. You’d best stay here and focus on starting a new life for yourself.

Small towns have access to police, too, you know. Do you really want to get hauled off for raising a ruckus? In this country, you are allowed to leave your partner for someone else if that is what you desire.

If “the best revenge is living well,” then you need to see a counsellor, get your head straightened out and start having fun. You can get to know people through Meetup (meetup.com/cities/ca/mb/winnipeg/) or social and sport activities that interest you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.