Advice for the depressed and crotchety

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This article was published 30/11/2018 (2520 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Your advice to Old and Crotchety, who says he’s feeling rough and depressed, tells me it’s time you grew up yourself, Miss L.! The man’s over 70 and doesn’t want to go out where there’s a crowd to join groups, meet people and have fun. Leave him alone! Let him stay at home and put his feet up. He’s still working part-time and he deserves that rest. He also said he doesn’t care that much for his grandchildren and some of those brats, in my experience, are not worth caring about.

They’re staring at computer screens and cellphones and don’t come to visit unless they’re dragged by their parents. This older man has had a platonic relationship with his wife for 10 years now. So do lots of people! You told him to get out and join things and enjoy other people, with or without her. What if he meets another woman who has the hots for him and leaves his wife? He says he’s feeling depressed, so tell him to see a shrink already!

— Senior Lady Who Knows, West Kildonan

Dear Senior Lady: Crotchety says he’s relatively healthy, but he does suspect there’s some depression. Check out the reply from Simply Sammy below, who thinks Crotchety needs medical attention, and more.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Your advice to Old and Crotchety should have suggested an examination by his physician and a look at his bloodwork, including his vitamin B. Very often low levels of B12 can cause some form of depression. At the same time, the doctor may prescribe an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication to help ease the depression, which is as much a medical issue as diabetes or heart disease. We would never tell someone who thinks they have high blood pressure to only exercise and watch what they eat. We would tell them to talk to their doctor and then follow his or her guidance.

— Simply Sammy, Fort Rouge

Dear Simply Sammy: Good points! Old and Crotchety should see his physician ASAP for a full workup, and ask for a referral to a psychologist as well. His part-time work may cover at least a portion of that cost.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have some additional advice for Old and Crotchety. There’s nothing quite like getting out and volunteering, particularly when it directly impacts those who need it. Helping out can lift your self-esteem and give you a sense of purpose. This time of year offers many volunteering opportunities. Places like Winnipeg Harvest, Salvation Army, Hands of Hope and many more would appreciate help.

— Over 70, St. Boniface

Dear Over 70: Thanks for those good suggestions. There’s nothing like working side-by-side with folks to help other people. And, you usually meet nice people doing volunteer work.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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