Don’t turn away mom’s help

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This article was published 20/01/2019 (2813 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My heart is broken by my cheating husband, who just moved out with his girlfriend. I can’t eat or sleep. My mother is worried and wants me to move home for a month, so she can make me well again. I feel like a big baby going home. I will sleep with my mother in her big bed and she will spoon feed me if necessary. I know her! My neighbour will watch over the house, which needs to be sold this spring. Do you think this is a mistake?

— Old-Fashioned Family, River Heights

Dear Old-Fashioned: Move home with mama and let her help you. If your own mother thinks you are wasting away, then maybe you are. You should definitely let her nurse you back to health, so you don’t end up seriously ill in the hospital.

Having an old-fashioned mother who loves you so much is a good thing. You can cry your heart out in safety and get most of the tears out of your system. She can cook and get you eating again. You can figure out what to do with the house later.

I’m sorry you’re going through a heartbreak, but happy you have a loving parent. Don’t let pride get in the way of accepting the help you need.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My landlady rents out parts of her very large house. But then she adds to her income with gentleman callers who come and go. They look familiar, so I guess she has a group of regulars. She hinted that she thought I had guessed her game, and I hinted back that her secret was safe with me. I have my own private entrance, but I’m wondering: should I move out?

— Student And No Dummy, Winnipeg

Dear Student: Anybody who has a steady stream of people to the house, who are not family or friends (or strangers), is decreasing your security there.

Even though you have your own door and key, it’s still the landlady’s lock, and she will have her own key for it. You’re better off accessing student housing and moving in with a roommate.

While you may not have much money as a student, you likely have some electronic equipment and are not around to guard it all day. Besides, the thought of the kind of business this woman is carrying on — and the people it attracts — is disconcerting, to say the least. You don’t know who they are and if they can be trusted. This is not a good place for you. Time to move on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a regular reader of your column and greatly appreciate your advice and wisdom. There’s a word you use which always bothers me. It’s sexual “preference” in relation to sexual orientation.

I cannot speak for the gay community, but I am part of it, and I know that the term “preference” is offensive because it denotes that we had a choice or prefer one sex over the other. As you know, being gay is not a choice and we don’t necessarily prefer this.

It’s much better, in my humble opinion, to use “orientation” instead of “preference.” Please do not take offence. None is intended.

— J., Manitoba

Dear J.: You make an excellent point. I certainly didn’t intend to offend any readers with the word “preference.” No one would choose a more difficult path in life than they needed to, and regrettably, it is still often difficult to be anything other than straight in this world. Hopefully, time and enlightenment will change that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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