Take weekend sex buddy to the next level

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/01/2019 (2473 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in love with a man who’s in “like” with someone else. He lives at her house. They’re best friends, he says. They don’t have sex but they sometimes sleep in the same bed and cuddle.

He and I have a real romance. We talk for hours, make love for hours, write each other poems. But I won’t let him live here because my kids are half-grown and still at home.

I’m divorced and the kids see their dad on weekends, when my lover comes over. His friend is quite happy with that and not the least bit jealous. She doesn’t like sex with men, prefers women and sometimes stays weekends at her lady friend’s house.

This situation, though strange, used to suit me just fine until I fell in love with this man who, for the longest time, I just thought of as my best friend and weekend sex buddy. Then, one night, it turned into something very passionate in my heart. This emotional blossoming happened on a Friday and he didn’t leave until Sunday, with both of us having said the L-word several times. We have been extremely close ever since. He wants to move in now.

I don’t like him being with his friend now, but I don’t want him to move in and act like a second father to my kids. Their father is high-strung and very bossy with the kids. Please help me with my mixed-up life.

— Mother of Two, Tuxedo

Dear Mother of Two: Both you and your lover like warm and cosy living situations. Do you want him to move out by himself now? Why should he? You say you love him passionately, but you still don’t want him under your roof. Either you invite him to live with you or you just have to put up with his roommate.

It’s not just about the kids, is it? If this man is an easygoing guy, they might enjoy having him as a balance to their high-strung father. What is the real reason you don’t want to be a family with him? My guess is your husband was bossy and you vowed to be the only one in command.

Be warned, your lover may get tired of your rejection, now that he’s ready to go all in with you and the kids. What if he decides he’s had enough and moves on? Then you will have the kids and all the control, but lose your chance at a loving, easygoing full-time partner.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When I was taking the bus home from downtown, I met a chatty lady and we talked all the way to her stop. She’d just started a job in the same building where I work. We started riding the bus home together every day and it was fun. Then a week ago, she was gone. I knew her name and what company she worked for, so I went looking for her. The front-desk lady at her company told me she no longer worked there.

I was shocked! She didn’t tell me she was leaving. I didn’t realize how much I liked her, either. As I was leaving, the woman at the front desk said, “Are you the guy from the bus?” She said my friend told her about me and how much fun she had on our bus rides, “and she described your furry hat with the flaps.”

I asked if she could give me her phone number and she said no. So now what do I do? I know my bus friend is single.

— Missing Ms. Chatty, Downtown

Dear Missing Chatty: Lesson for singles — always try to get the number of the person you’re attracted to, or at least find out how you can make contact on social media. You can check for this lady on Facebook if you have both her names. You could also go back to her old office and give your phone number to the front-desk lady to pass on to her. Good luck!

By the way, you might want to lose the hat with the flaps when you’re meeting women, or at least tuck them up. Those hats are warm but have a comic look to them, which is not the image you want with attractive ladies, even in the frozen north.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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