Classroom romance needs two beating hearts to work

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This article was published 03/02/2019 (2772 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a university student in the same faculty as my boyfriend. I’m trying not to freak out, but when I come to the library, my boyfriend won’t sit at the same table as me anymore, as he did when we first started dating. He couldn’t wait to save me a seat!

He says the change is because I’m “too distracting,” but I don’t believe him. I find him more often than not, sitting at a table with other girls.

While it’s true he does his work, and is not just fooling around, he’s too cordial and charming with them.

Frankly, I never see him sitting with anyone ugly and there’s one girl he often brings coffee to. What should I do?

— Feeling Jealous, University of Manitoba

Dear Jealous: Bringing another woman coffee? Hmm. Your relationship may already be past it’s “best-before” date. If so, it wasn’t meant to be and it’s a waste of your time. But, if you really care, here’s a ploy that’s worth a try: go to another faculty to study where there are lots of guys.

Let your boyfriend pick you up there, once in awhile. Don’t tell him why you’re going there, until he asks — and he will. Keep a straight face and tell him it’s “the best place to concentrate on your work.” Let him chew on that.

Make some casual coffee friends on your own in your new study spot.

Either your boyfriend will feel insecure and start chasing you again, or he will be relieved that he can sit in privacy with the ladies around him.

You may want to let this relationship slide, girlfriend. Romance requires two warm hearts beating.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m getting tired of my man coming over for dinner and not offering to help buy the groceries.

Boy, can he eat!

Sure, he helps with the dishes, and when we go out, he always offers to pay. But it’s like he takes it for granted that I can’t wait to cook for him, and that I’m going to do it by myself.

I love to cook, but I don’t like being taken for granted. I really like this guy, but this is becoming a bad habit. Does the fact that he pays for movies and stuff, entitle him to my cooking him dinner?

Is there still an unspoken business exchange between men and women these days?

— Wearing the Apron, St. Vital

Dear Apron: It’s not too late, but you need to speak up in a constructive way, not with a martyr’s whine. He seems like a decent sort and not a cheapskate. But he definitely has the wrong idea about you. He’s treating you like mama, sitting around waiting for you to cook dinner for him, with groceries you bought.

It’s time to tell him what you want — to cook together and share in buying groceries for meals you prepare. As for going out, you need to take your wallet out more often and take turns paying. That’s the modern way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband died almost five years ago, and I don’t miss him. Nobody knew this, but he was a jerk to me when the kids weren’t around.

I took his picture down after he died and my daughter went and put it back up again. I let that go, but I hated having his eyes watch me as I went about my new life.

Now, I have a new man in my life and I want that photo gone. Should I give it to my daughter to keep?

— Wanting That Picture Gone, Selkirk

Dear Wanting: Just take it down again, and if your daughter demands it go back up, make a brief reference to the new man in your life.

Offer her the photo. She’ll probably take it at that point and you’ll be off the hook.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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