Keep nose out of smelly smoker’s business

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This article was published 05/02/2019 (2800 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am a retired guy and mall walker. I see a lady at the mall from time to time. We exchange greetings and pleasantries. I very much enjoy these short chats.

It worries me that she carries a very strong smoking odour.

I always wonder if the stale smoke odour is something she is aware of. Should I mention this to her?

I don’t want to embarrass or alienate her. But sometimes people don’t know something and may benefit from being told.

— Worried By Smoker’s Odour, Winnipeg

Dear Worried: Whoa! Please don’t stop and tell this woman she smells of stale smoke. She’s not a close personal friend. The critical conversation you want to have comes under the heading NOYB (None of Your Business). She may get in your face and tell you what to do with your advice and it won’t be pleasant.

Besides, she’s no doubt been told she stinks of smoke at some point by people in her family — like her kids — and possibly been nagged about it many times.

Look, this lady’s addicted to nicotine and probably doesn’t even notice the smell anymore — or likes it. She also doesn’t wash her clothes enough —not a good sign if you want to be more than distant friends.

You may be attracted to her conversation, but this problem gets right up your nose. The desire to tell her she smells isn’t solely about her health and all you will do is offend her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m seriously in love with a wonderful man at work.

I know this is cliché, but he is my boss and I have so much admiration for all he does.

His wife doesn’t appreciate him. She calls all day long and I have to field the calls because he can’t talk to her every hour, on the hour.

I know she’s at home with three young children, but that’s her fault. She’s an old-fashioned Catholic and wants as many kids as God will give her. I’m a modern Catholic and I’ll have as many children as I can afford and enjoy, no more. His wife thinks he stays late at work to get away from her and the kids.

He works extremely hard and won’t leave until the day’s work is done. I stay to help. He must know how I feel — how could he miss it — but he never speaks of it himself.

Here’s my problem. Valentine’s Day is coming up and I want to give him a little something. What do you suggest?

— Crazy About My Boss, Downtown

Dear Crazy: How about this gift for him, you and everybody else: find a new job and a new infatuation and get out of this man’s marriage. You want a man/lover/husband in your life. This guy is daddy to three kids — and his wife wants him. Also, he seems quite oblivious to your charms.

This is a total waste of time. Start looking for a guy who’s attractive and truly single.

Meet up with a girlfriend where the “suits” gather after work, and make that your regular hangout. Stop staying at work long after quitting time and start acting more like a professional, without being rude. Update your resumé and start looking for new work. It’s time to get out of this rut and move forward with your life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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