Teens are often full of questions

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This article was published 28/02/2019 (2443 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hear voices in my head, telling me what to do in my life. My religious mother says it’s the voice of God speaking directly to me. My dad says it’s just my conscience. Well then, who or what is my conscience? Sometimes, I just tell the voices to shut up, and make up my own mind. But then, am I separate from my conscience and the voices from God? I can think about myself, as I am right now, from a short distance, so how many of me are there?

I comment on my own behaviour all the time. “Well, that was a stupid thing to do,” I’ll say, or “Way to go, pal!” Sometimes, in the car, I will shout at another driver, and then another voice in my head tells me, “Calm down and drive slower or you might hit somebody.”

I find this all very confusing. I am one personality to my know-it-all mother who annoys me, and use a low mutter and very little conversation to deal with her. I’m a whole other person when I leave the house and meet my friends. I’m louder, I’m talkative and I laugh. So who am I?

— One Giant Headache, Southdale

Dear Headache: You are an intelligent human being with lots going on in your developing brain. Many people walk around with these complicated kinds of thoughts. You’re obviously young, living at home but driving a vehicle, so at least 16. It’s normal at your age to question everything and talk about life with close friends, siblings or parents. These kinds of conversations were commonplace when people spent more time together face-to-face, instead of isolated on computers and cellphones.

Your conscience is the sum total of your teachings and readings about right and wrong. If you were raised in the bush by wolves and lived by hunting, you’d have a whole different set of ideas about what is right or wrong. If you were raised with the credo “might is right” and were exposed to a lot of violence at home, you’d have a certain point of view. If you were raised on computer screens with little parental input, you would hold an entirely different set of ideals still.

Some people think their conscience is God talking to them. Some almost hear the voices (from memory) of previous teachers, counsellors, pastors or priests talking to them when they have an important decision to make. Here’s the thing: we all carry around a head full of ideas and rules other people give us, plus our own complicated brains thinking things out. That’s actually a good thing.

You can get into trouble if you think God is speaking to you alone — and giving you the right to do this or that. There are certain world leaders who commit all kinds of heinous acts because they feel they are speaking and acting on behalf of God. This is dangerous thinking, so you don’t want to go there.

If you feel you really are hearing voices whispering in your ears — and they seem real and are alarming — talk to your doctor. They will get you an appointment to see a psychiatrist who can help you sort things out and prescribe medication, if needed.

If you’re just confused and thinking of going to university soon, take some philosophy courses. Every question you think of can be debated with others who are also interested in looking for answers.

Finally, you’re not alone, my friend. A lot of us look up at the sky and think: who am I? What is this world about? Is there a purpose to all this? Personally, I think we are meant to do this, and I enjoy thinking about the mystery. I let my mind rove all over the place without worrying about it. Good luck!

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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