Finding Mr. Right takes time and effort
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/03/2019 (2744 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a beautiful man at a conference out of town recently, and I can’t get him out of my mind. He’s everything I could want in a guy! I thought I would never see him again, then this morning he called me at work. He said he “probably shouldn’t have called,” but I had given him my number and he couldn’t stop thinking about me. I said I felt the same.
Then I asked him if he was married and he said, “Not really.” I mustered up all my strength and said, “Call me when you are free, not a moment sooner, but do call me then, please.” He said he was very impressed by me, but his wife was very sick and he couldn’t leave her. “So I’ll have to say goodbye for quite a number of years, but I promise I will call you one day,” he said. “I wish I had met you years ago.”
I just hung up the phone and cried. That was so sad. Where was I when he was first looking for love. Why did I run into him now when I need him and he’s unavailable?
There is no justice in the universe. I married a big hunk of a football player and he was nice to me for eight years, but he didn’t want kids, and pushed me away by having an affair. Then I met an OK guy and we had kids. When the kids went off to college, I left Mr. Boring before I lost my sanity. Now I find a man I could be with forever and he’s married to a sick woman. Should I just give up?
— Feeling Defeated, The Maples
Dear Defeated: Meeting people is a numbers game, and it sounds as if you just leave it to fate, instead of taking control of your future. You need to increase the number of men you meet. How about this conference idea? Does your job or any of your hobbies lend itself to classes, conferences or seminars? Those kinds of opportunities would allow you to meet a great variety of men in one place, rather than one or two every eight years.
Write down everything you liked about this guy on a piece of paper and memorize it. Soon, you will start looking for men who meet your criteria and not even know it.
Once you have a larger pool of men to choose from, you will be in a far better position to find someone who’s a winner for you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don’t like my wife anymore. I still feel committed to her, but I sure don’t feel friendly. She’s become a rule-oriented pain in the butt. I was walking past her when she was bent over sorting through clothes in the dryer and I felt the biggest urge to kick her in the rump.
I pictured her shock as she went flying into the dryer. Whoops! God, I’m sick of her. Why did I marry her? Oh yeah, I wanted someone who could keep the house clean and cook, unlike my alcoholic mother.
I could have hired a housekeeper to do that, but my wife was good-looking 50 pounds ago. I guess I just figured the woman of the house should do all that housework and she was such a pro.
— Got What I Asked For? Westwood
Dear Got It: The trouble is, the things you think you want in a mate can change over the years, and that’s what happened to you. What is it you want now, if not a housekeeper type? Maybe your wife, given your anger, would like nothing better than a big settlement and a chance to hang up her mop. Maybe she’d like to meet a new man, rather than an overgrown boy.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
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