Treat vacation romance like a dream

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/03/2019 (2755 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went on a month-long winter holiday and I was gutsy enough to go on my own. I’m in my early 30s and people have rated me an “eight” in looks. I know that’s rude to mention, but I do it just to give you an idea of what’s going on with me.

The manager of my Mexican hotel immediately began to look out for me and warned me about the young and flirty staff guys right off the bat. Then he started to court me in an old-fashioned, gentlemanly way, with dinners at the nicest places in town. By the the end of that first week, we were sleeping together. I was already smitten, all the while knowing I had to fly home 14 days later.

I phoned him as soon as I got home, and he was nice, but cool. The second time I called, he recommended I look at our little romance “as a beautiful dream” and the third time I called, he said in a nice voice, “OK, beautiful lady, that is enough calls now.”

I had been dismissed, just like that. I felt shamed and embarrassed for not being sophisticated enough to take it for what it was: the boss gets to romance the eights! The boss gets to set the pace. The boss gets to collect on the generosity of the fancy dinner and a walk in the moonlight — and then he’s on to the next señorita. Do I sound bitter? Heck ya!

I’m so angry I don’t know what to do. I want to get even with him and maybe report him to the hotel’s owners, but things are different down there. He’d probably get a high-five and a wink. What should I do to stop the hurting inside?

— Unwanted Señorita, Winnipeg

Dear Unwanted: Disappointment is the difference between what you were hoping for and what you get. You were hoping for fun, and maybe a little romance, right? Were you really hoping to move to Mexico and get married? Not likely.

Were you hoping for him to call and say he missed you? Oh yes! But would you want him to move here and live with you? Not likely after a two-week romance.

So what did he do wrong? He could have at least called and told you how wonderful his time with you had been. Then you might have asked him what his real situation is at home. Married? Children? A serious girlfriend? He probably would have told you the truth at that point, because he doesn’t need a woman hounding him for a romance he doesn’t want to pursue.

If you ever embark on another solo holiday romance, remember that’s exactly what it is — a romance contained by time. Treat this experience like a dream. It happened, it was lovely, and then it faded away.

Don’t be too harsh. You should know a lot of these men who work in vacation spots have experiences like yours. They have feelings for a woman, and then when they leave, the man learns they were considered part of the entertainment package.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was down at The Forks when I spotted my ex-wife. I saw her from a distance skating beside a tall guy. She recognized me and waved me over. I started skating over like a fool and there she was with a friend of mine, holding hands, all cosy. I turned and skated away without talking to them, and went home.

I had some tears in the car, I’ll admit. I don’t want to be with her anymore — she cheated and I kicked her out — but it really hurt that my friend jumped into her web, just months after we split. Did I do the right thing, not talking to them?

— Unsure of My Moves, Downtown

Dear Unsure: Boy, are you the polite Canadian! Waving to you, when she was on a date with your old buddy was rubbing it in, effectively saying, “Serves you right for dumping me. Ha ha!” Yes, you did the right thing. It was your ex who did the wrong thing — again.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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