Cat lover needs to find purr-fect partner

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This article was published 03/04/2019 (2739 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a middle-aged guy living with a cat I’ve had for over 10 years. I love him to pieces. My friends make fun of me, saying he’s my real spouse, but they’ve never had a cat.

I’ve been dating a woman for almost eight months now, and she talks a big game about us living together one day. But she’s extremely allergic to cats and I don’t have the heart to let her move in, and move my cat out. What do I tell my girlfriend?

— Cat Daddy, Wolseley

Dear Cat Daddy: You have a long life ahead of you and you love animals. If you live with this woman you would have to say goodbye to your present kitty and any others that would come later. Do you really want to give that up?

You mention how much you love your cat, but you don’t mention loving your girlfriend. It would be smart to pass on her at this point, before you get in too deep. She isn’t going to like being turfed in favour of a four-legged creature, but animal lovers who have a great passion for their furry friends live a less fulfilling life if they can never have a pet again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a high school guy. I need help from someone like you. I’ve been dating a girl for four months and she told me last night her period is two weeks late. I’m so scared, I can’t believe it.

I don’t have a job and my parents are super conservative. They’ll be so furious with me if she’s pregnant. My life feels like it’s over. What do I even do? I’ve never had to deal with anything like this. My girlfriend keeps saying we’ll talk about it when we know for sure, but when will we know?

— Sick to My Stomach, Winnipeg

Dear Sick: Enough time has passed that a home pregnancy test (get two) can be quite accurate. I’d also suggest your girlfriend visit the teen clinic at Women’s Health Clinic (419 Graham Ave.) Thursday evening for a pregnancy test (call 204-947-1517 for hours). Everything is confidential, and doctors and counsellors are available to answer all your questions.

Have you thought about what you would do if your girlfriend is pregnant and wants to keep the baby? Even if this is just a scare and she’s not pregnant, having thought through that question should drive home the message you need to employ multiple methods of contraception at once.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My daughter seems to be going through a bout of depression. She’s in her early 20s and doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. She spends most of her time in her room and only comes downstairs to eat or go out with a friend. She has no job. I want the best for her, but she can be quite stubborn. Any ideas on how to approach this?

— Anxious Mom, Fort Garry

Dear Mom: Since she won’t come out of her room, find some books, videos and pamphlets on course offerings from different schools so she can start shopping for a career. Tell her that she isn’t stuck in her first career and that many people now have three and four careers over their lifetimes.

Encourage her to choose something fun and appealing, rather than something she feels she has to take to please her family. Hot tip: read this career material yourself before you give it to her, as you will likely be behind on current trends.

Even if you don’t think you’ll understand it all, check out some of the jobs that exist in the tech industry. Many of these jobs pay quite handsomely and may even touch on things she’s interested in and for which she already has some skills.

Once you’re familiar with the different options available, your daughter may feel she can seek out your advice. Just make sure you’re not too pushy about anything. Let her decide.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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