Don’t blow up romance with early L-bomb

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This article was published 04/04/2019 (2738 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: How long is too long to wait to tell a person you love them? I told my last girlfriend after a month and things ended poorly. I’m dating someone new now and I want to tell her so badly, but I fear it is still too soon. We’ve been together two and a half months. Please help me!

— Ready to Blow, Elmwood

Dear Ready: Here’s a trick: when you’re itching to say, “I love you,” and part of it comes out, quickly think of something you love about her such as, “I love the way you talk (or laugh, or smile).” This way you let off some steam without saying the actual phrase.

Telling a person “I love you” with all three words is charged with emotion and expectation.

This person you want so much may be on her way to loving you, but you don’t want to blow it by saying it too soon. All she can do is agree immediately or feel uncomfortable and say nothing.

Think of people who are falling in love as two trains heading to the same station on parallel tracks. One train is often moving faster than the other, but they will both arrive at the same destination.

There is no set time to tell a person you love them, but you can usually see it in their eyes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: How much is too much of an age difference? I’m a 33-year-old man and I know for a fact women prefer to date someone older than they are, but how much?

I’m on these dating sites and I list my age preference as “20+” thinking I might get lucky. They’re beautiful, but I just started to wonder if it would be weird if I go on a date with someone who’s in her early 20s. My friends are starting to give me a hard time about wanting to date someone more than 10 years younger than me.

— Condo Guy, Exchange District

Dear Condo Guy: The girls in their 20s that you see on Tinder and other sites are looking for guys they find attractive closer to their age. You may have the advantage of a career and money at this point, but that’s not a priority for very young women.

Those in the 25- to 35-year-old range are more likely to be interested in a guy for a serious relationship and children one day. Why not check out a woman who shares the same interests and goals as you do?

Can’t you find a woman in her late 20s who is full of fun and attractive to you? Don’t assume a woman has to be very young to be beautiful and exciting.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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