‘Boo’ to guy who played ghostly trick on wife

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/06/2019 (2652 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a big wuss and I’m sick of it. Every time something goes bump in the night in our old house, she sends me downstairs to see “if there’s a ghost or something.”

A few nights ago, I decided to play a trick on her and I went and came back and said, “I think there is a ghost and he’s in the kitchen eating our food,” and she just laughed. (Meanwhile, I’d moved all the sandwich stuff from the second shelf to the freezer.)

Then there was another creak and she told me, just in case, to take the flashlight and look again. I went back and made myself a sandwich from the stuff in the freezer before it got too cold, left a bunch of crumbs and finished off the big carton of milk.

In the morning, we went down together, I opened the fridge door and there was the emptied shelf in the fridge, and crumbs on the table. She screamed! I started laughing like crazy and said, “It was me, you big wuss!” She didn’t laugh.

She got dressed, got her keys and drove “somewhere.” She didn’t come back until past dinnertime. By then, I was really upset.

She says I’m a real jerk and she “can’t trust me anymore because I laugh at her fears and make a fool out of her.”

We’re finally talking again, but she doesn’t want me touching her in bed. This is ridiculous. — Punished Forever? South of Winnipeg

Dear Punished: This sounds like a case of insufficient remorse. You aren’t sorry, are you? You started by saying your wife is a wuss, present tense.

Look, everybody has fears and should be able to tell the person they loved enough to marry, and they should get love, reassurance and protection back.

You played a trick and made a fool of your wife, called her a wuss and have not righted that wrong by apologizing in a believable way.

If your attitude is for her to “just get over it,” you’ll need to “just get over” losing your sex life for a while. Time to say you’re sorry and mean it, or look for some extra blankets, bub.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to the lake with my boyfriend and it was a little cold in the water but beautiful in the sand dunes that Sunday.

I had been wondering where he’d been all weekend — he didn’t call me and he made no excuses. He was being extra sweet Sunday, but when we started making out on the beach blanket, he called me by the wrong name when he was getting to the begging-in-my-ear stage.

The name he whispered to me wasn’t anything like mine. I felt like I’d been slapped.

He tried to wiggle out of it, but there was no wiggle room. I just said, “Take me home!” We drove back to Winnipeg in silence.

I thought I loved him, but I thought love was supposed to last forever. — Broken-Hearted, Age 17, North End

Dear Broken: Infatuation feels like love, but it’s just the early stages. You might think your boyfriend or girlfriend is madly in love with you, even if they’re just liking you and feeling hot for you.

No matter what the guy’s excuses, you’d be better off punting this little mover. He’s absent all weekend, then tries to gives you a Sunday of his charms? Ha! You can do better than that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography