Find family harmony in soundproofing

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This article was published 24/10/2021 (1807 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My son has a real musical talent, apparently. He’s continuously banging on the walls, pots and surfaces, and stomping his feet to music while he’s on the computer. I just can’t stand it! My guitar-playing husband thinks it’s cool, and says, “He’s going to be a great drummer one day.”

I don’t know about that! I think he likely has ADHD. It’s driving me up the wall!

I love my son, but I just want him to calm down and relax! Is that a bad thing? My husband seems to think so. He’s miffed I’d even suggest anything other than our child having talent.

— Bad Vibrations, West End

Dear Bad Vibrations: You want to medicate your son into silence, because he has drumming instincts? At least his father — a musician — thinks he does and he should know.

Maybe this boy needs drum lessons and a place to practise, where you can’t hear him. That may mean creating a musicians’ cave in the basement for dad and son with sound-proofing for walls and ceilings — easy to find plans and material online, and not overly expensive.

These days you can buy super-duper earplugs, and pop them in when you don’t want to hear anything. But when you need to use your ears, you’ll need the sound-proofed room in the basement or even a safely-heated garage set-up.

Be a sport now! Tell the dad-and-son duo you’re in favour of the boy’s music lessons, as long as you have ways to protect your ears and your sanity. They will need to take responsibility for keeping the home environment sane and enjoyable for everybody, especially Mama.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love half of my husband — the bottom half. He’s great in bed technically and lots of fun. Outside that, he’s gotten boring. In fact, he’s developed an addiction to TV since COVID started.

As soon as we’ve made love to his satisfaction every night (this does not include cuddling and afterglow), he feels he’s given me all the attention needed for the night, and flicks on the giant TV at the end of our bed. I suddenly feel unnecessary.

All he wants to watch are action movies and war stuff. I may stick around if it’s an animal show, but after that he’s watching what he calls “his” shows.

I’ve started going to the second bedroom to sleep as I don’t want to watch the boob tube until 4 a.m. and I want to enjoy some hours before going to sleep. I have to work in the daytime, but he’s retired and can sleep until noon.

I’m getting very lonely. I don’t feel married and well-loved. I feel like I have a sex partner in the early evening, and that’s it. What can I do?

— His Sex Provider, Westwood

Dear Sex Provider: Adjustments during COVID turned a lot of people into housebound TV hounds or bookworms — taking up many long hours, day or night. It felt safer than going out, and almost everything could be ordered in. Then you added early evening sex to the evening’s entertainment. Whoo-hoo!

Your husband has gotten into the sex-plus-TV nights too deeply, and for too long. He needs to be lured into outside activity again. Lying on one’s back for 12 hours or more a day is not good for anybody’s health.

Make a list of fun things you’d like to do with your husband outside the house. Try some walks together or playing cards and games with people you know who are safely vaccinated like you are.

Shift sex time to later at night, so he doesn’t feel he’ll be missing out by enjoying early evening activities with you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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