Freedom from folks comes with a cost

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/10/2021 (1803 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently spent more money than I should have on a computer and my parents are now demanding rent! They’re calling me “Mr. Moneybags” for a laugh.

I’m 19 years old and yes, I still live at home. I’m also someone who has a lot of anxiety, and I work a pretty crappy job. The job is “customer-facing” and I’m usually dealing with angry people, so I really earn my money.

Anyway, I bought this PC so I could enjoy the fruits of my labour and enjoy more of my time at home, but Dad saw it and asked me how much it cost. I told him the truth, and he got all mad and started telling me I have to pay him and Mom rent. He suggested I was trying to “take advantage” of them. Just crazy talk!

I feel like I should move out if they want me to pay rent — but that’s a big step. How can I talk my parents down from their insane position?

— Son of Tightwads, St. James

Dear Son of Tightwads: Why should the parental unit provide free room and board when you’re also working? Figure out what it costs them to feed you as a young adult — probably at least $50 a week. Offer to pay for that while living there.

Also, start looking for a place where you can live with a friend. Your share of rent these days is apt to be double what you’d pay for food at home — around $400 monthly — and then there’s still food to buy with your buddy on top of that. At least you’ll be free! Too bad freedom costs so much.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Wanting More Info — the woman who wanted details from her birth mom. (I suggested she do activities with her birth mom and not pry too much.—Miss L.) Please tell Wanting to be careful about what she asks of her birth mom. She may be opening a very painful situation for her mom, and herself.

I had a few years with my birth mom before she passed. It took her three years to drop the bombshell. She told me what she probably had told no one else in her family: Her step-dad — long-deceased — was my father. And her half-sister (carried by his wife) is less than six months older than me. My birth mother was a very naive, trusting and pliable person, as I learned from one of her older sisters. I didn’t judge my birth mom.

I already knew that shortly after she had me (in the early 1950s) her family put her in an institution, and they had me put up for adoption. I will never feel able to ask my aunt/half-sister to do a DNA test. There could well be a bombshell she might not want to hear.

— Please Be Careful with Birth Moms, Manitoba

Dear Please Be Careful: Are some truths about parentage better not to hear? The answer is sometimes yes. It might have been a relief for your mother to share that heavy burden with you. But it’s been quite difficult for you, hasn’t it?

It does solve the mystery as to why your birth mother— a trusting, pliable child— suddenly got sent to an institution. And you — her innocent baby — got adopted out. That was a good thing. Thank goodness you didn’t have to grow up in the home of an incestuous man.

My advice to you? Your birth mom has died. You know the simple truths now. That’s enough detail for you to digest about your parentage. Try to enjoy the rest of your life without digging for too much more. One bombshell is probably more than enough.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was really feeling the effects of no sex for a long time and my buddy told me about a beautiful woman who lives in a fancy place, works an office job and supplements her income by having sex with only people who come highly recommended.

She charges a lot! I laughed in his face. But, things have now gotten worse and I’m so needy for touch. Lately, I’ve been thinking about it again, and I wish I’d asked him to recommend me. What do you think?

— Desperado, Winnipeg

Dear Desperado: The biggest risk is the customers this woman sees, especially during the pandemic. A new partner like this woman, who has sex with any number of people — even if they’re sexually educated, well-heeled and careful with protection — is still very risky.

COVID-19 will clear up; it’s just not there yet. There will be normal socializing and dating again, so be patient — it won’t be that much longer. This is not the time to do something out of desperation and risk getting a sexually transmitted infection or COVID.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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