July 4, 2020

17° C, Partly cloudy

Full Forecast


Advertise With Us


Boyfriend's thunderous snoring causes kerfuffle

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/12/2019 (204 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend is a big guy and snores at night, right into my ear. I got a bright idea and decided that as soon as he dropped off, I would take my pillows and sleep upside down at the other end of our king-size bed.

I am a small woman — about 5-2 — so my feet came up to about his chest, fully extended. Unfortunately I didn’t tell him about this until he found out himself. He partially woke up and reached out for me to make love in the morning, kissing my bare feet. He yelped and sat up and spotted me snoozing away on my favourite pillow at the bottom of the bed.

I thought it was funny, but he is not amused because I won’t back off my solution to his snoring. He’s at fault here! Should he get some anti-snoring equipment?

Can’t Stand Snoring in My Ear, Downtown

Dear Can’t Stand Snoring: For his health’s sake, he should have himself checked out for sleep apnea, as it can be dangerous if he stops breathing long enough.

Also, you need to get your rest and he needs to be sensitive to that. Ask him how he’d suggest you get your necessary night’s sleep.

His family doctor can refer him to a sleep clinic for an overnight sleep study and he can find out the severity of his snoring and his breathing situation and what he can do about it. As for the immediate sleeping/snoring problem, you can try different types of earplugs, although they often don’t do a complete job of blocking loud snoring.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My life is turning out just like my mother secretly hoped it would. She’s a musician who did OK and made a living out of it, and owns her own little house. She was jealous of her own kid, and hoped my career as a rock musician would not eclipse her own. She didn’t even give me lessons past age 10, when it was clear I was very musical. My last rock band broke up and my guitar gigs have lessened in the past two years. I have a lousy day job to earn my living, working in a store.

There has never been another woman with such an ego — she refers to herself as "the musician in the family" to friends and relatives — and now she can finally discount me totally. I have begun to dread seeing her, and here comes Christmas.

She had such a smug look on her face last Christmas when she handed me a pair of socks and a cheque saying she thought I needed the money for rent more than the present. I hated that money, but I took it. I’d been living in my friend’s basement.

I don’t feel like I’m at all finished as a musician, and now a good friend in Toronto has asked me to come and live with him and play in his band. They’re doing really well. I’m leaving before Christmas and haven’t told my mother yet, and she will be alone except for her drunk friends at Christmas. I just can’t face another Christmas morning with her. What should I tell her, or should I just blow town?

— Her Ungrateful "Loser" Son, Winnipeg


Dear "Loser" Son: Don’t blow town without contacting Mom. Take the high road to Toronto and you’ll be glad you did. Tell her the truth on the phone, if you can’t face her. In an upbeat voice, tell her you have new work and you have to be off ASAP to Toronto to take advantage of it.

Also, tell her you hope she has a nice Christmas with her friends but you won’t be here. If she wants argue and to "get into it," tell her last Christmas was such an awkward and hurtful situation, you don’t want to repeat it this year. She may say she’s sorry, or just place the blame on you.

Leave her a small gift in any case, like gloves or a scarf, wrapped up nicely, with a card saying Merry Christmas. If the fight is too bad, just leave it in her mailbox. She won’t feel quite as upset if you leave her a little gift, and you won’t feel as guilty.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a crush on my neighbour who helped me out of snowy ruts behind our houses one morning. Aside from getting stuck again, I don’t know how to see him socially. I’m too shy to knock on his door and I hear he’s single. What can I do?


Dear Stuck: Send him an old-fashioned Christmas card to thank him for getting you out of the snow and ask him if you can take him for a coffee or Christmas drink and give him your phone number on the card. Then hand-deliver it, hoping you’ll get caught at his mailbox. Maybe he’s been wanting to see you again, too!


Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.


Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Read full biography


Advertise With Us

Your support has enabled us to provide free access to stories about COVID-19 because we believe everyone deserves trusted and critical information during the pandemic.

Our readership has contributed additional funding to give Free Press online subscriptions to those that can’t afford one in these extraordinary times — giving new readers the opportunity to see beyond the headlines and connect with other stories about their community.

To those who have made donations, thank you.

To those able to give and share our journalism with others, please Pay it Forward.

The Free Press has shared COVID-19 stories free of charge because we believe everyone deserves access to trusted and critical information during the pandemic.

While we stand by this decision, it has undoubtedly affected our bottom line.

After nearly 150 years of reporting on our city, we don’t want to stop any time soon. With your support, we’ll be able to forge ahead with our journalistic mission.

If you believe in an independent, transparent, and democratic press, please consider subscribing today.

We understand that some readers cannot afford a subscription during these difficult times and invite them to apply for a free digital subscription through our Pay it Forward program.

The Free Press will close this commenting platform at noon on July 14.

We want to thank those who have shared their views over the years as part of this reader engagement initiative.

In the coming weeks, the Free Press will announce new opportunities for readers to share their thoughts and to engage with our staff and each other.

You can comment on most stories on The Winnipeg Free Press website. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or digital subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

Have Your Say

Comments are open to The Winnipeg Free Press print or digital subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to The Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

By submitting your comment, you agree to abide by our Community Standards and Moderation Policy. These guidelines were revised effective February 27, 2019. Have a question about our comment forum? Check our frequently asked questions.


Advertise With Us