Divorce is like poker, keep your cards close

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This article was published 28/08/2018 (2934 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I woke up this morning with the clear knowledge that I wanted to leave my stupid young wife.

I have felt dissatisfied, but complacent, for a long time now. Last night, she pulled the same old trick of flirting with a guy at a party. When I came around to the backyard, I found her kissing this guy behind some bushes.

Instead of letting it go, as I would have before, I told my wife, “That’s it for us!” and went home. I don’t know how she got home. He probably drove her. She came home close to sunrise. I was in the locked bedroom.

She has cheated before and did a poor job of hiding it. I had proof, but let it go because I still loved her at the time. I thought we could fix it, but you can’t fix mean.

The problem is we have little money and it takes two of us to afford our mortgage. Luckily, we have not been able to have kids so far.

I know I’m done with her. There is nothing left, not even anger. Just disgust. She is so insecure and stupid. I thought she was sweet in the beginning, but not anymore. The other men are welcome to her. But now, I don’t know what to do. — Never Divorced Before, West End

Dear Never Divorced: Divorce is like a game of cards: you are smart to keep quiet and not show your hand too soon.

Quietly visit a family lawyer and an accountant you don’t share with your wife and find out what you need to do in relation to your house, car, debts, property and even pets, if you have them.

Since you have no intention of getting back together, you can set the wheels in motion for a straight-ahead divorce.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Unusually good-looking women aren’t hard to come by in Winnipeg.

I feel like I hit the jackpot when I moved here. I’m young and in the clubs and have been “dating” a lot and having a lot of fun. That is to say I’m having a lot of one-night stands.

Then, this woman comes along who says she only wants to be my friend. We are both dating a lot of people and comparing our experiences at this one club we visit a couple of times a week.

Then I saw her walk out of the club with a guy this week and I felt green — really jealous. Why? She’s just my friend. There’s no reason to be jealous of her. She can do what she wants.This guy looked like me, and that really bugged me, too.

The next time I saw her at the club, I asked her in a jealous voice how her “date” was. She said, “Great! I’m going to see him again tomorrow night.” I told her in a snarky voice that he looked just like me. “Yeah, what of it?” she said. “You and I are just friends.”

It felt like a sock in the gut. I looked hard at her and walked out of the bar. Now, I don’t know what to do. — Jealous “Friend,” Downtown

Dear Jealous: It’s time you told her you like her more than a friend and that you’d prefer if she went out with you, instead of a guy who looks like you.

She might light up, and say, “OK, you’re on!” or she might say, “Nah, you’re just my friend.”

You might be left nowhere, licking your wounds, but at least you tried, and you know the score.

If you have problems in your personal life, email Miss Lonelyhearts at lovecoach@hotmail.com .

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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