Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Eight months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up, and COVID hit almost immediately. I’m 19, so I moved back in with my parents.
Our family has had a very tight, careful COVID bubble. I know my parents were relieved to get my boyfriend out of our lives. He played on several teams and was a "rowdy and immature young man" according to my dad, who called his place "Party Central."
Well, my ex and I secretly got back together two weeks ago. I finally told my parents yesterday.
My mom asked, "And how long have you been exposing us to the people in his party bubble?" I said I didn’t care, and that I had a right to have my own life!
This morning I woke up to both parents fighting. My dad thinks I should move back in with my boyfriend, so he and mom and the rest of our family (I have a younger brother and sister) can stay safe.
My mom wants me — her first child — to keep living with them. I appreciate her protective feelings for me but refuse to give up my relationship.
I don’t know where I’m going to live. My boyfriend wants me back with him! What do you think? — Middle of a Storm, River Heights
Dear Middle: Until you have a vaccine working in your body, you’re a danger to yourself and your family by re-visiting this boyfriend’s circle — unless there’s been a big change and his place is no longer a party house.
Your dad is right to try to protect the family and have you move out. Although he’s angry, I’m sure the possible dangers to you outside the family bubble also breaks his heart.
Now he has to worry about the last two weeks when you hid the truth and were back moving between the family and the boyfriend’s crowd. Here’s hoping you kept to yourselves and continue to do so.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: These are my thoughts for Different From My Mom, the young artist who’s feeling pressured to go into science and medicine studies like her single mom who’s saving up for her daughter’s tuition. (Miss L. suggested the young artist start saving and pitch in financially, so she can have more say in her university studies.)
Being forced to pursue an education and career for which you have no passion might pay the bills, but can destroy a soul. There might be a compromise though, in that science needs art to help get its points across.
For instance, after an initial fine arts undergrad, one can seek a master’s degree in biomedical illustration. That would satisfy mom and pay the bills while leaving the time and developing skills to pursue one’s own artistic passions on the side. Two careers for one education! — Sympathetic Potato, Winnipeg
Dear Potato: The point is she doesn’t want to seek degrees in anything other than fine arts. Doing a master’s degree in biomedical illustration would take years of her time and energy — and dull the enjoyment for her own art. What time would she have left over?
The whole point is she needs to go her own way educationally. Money talks and she can earn her say in these decisions by working to save a good chunk of her tuition money.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’d like to add another point of view to the switch-to-twin-beds discussion (started when a wife complained lovemaking dwindled to one-third with separate beds). My dad and stepmom bought a twin set to replace an older double bed, and not long after we found out we’d soon welcoming a new sibling to the family!
I was in my mid-20s and my other sibs were in their late teens to early-20s. It was a unique and a very joyous celebration when we gathered for Father’s Day and took a group photo with my dad at age 50 proudly holding the baby on his lap. — A Good Surprise, Manitoba
Dear Good Surprise: Sometimes loving couples just want to be together in the same inviting bed, no matter how small. It’s crowded alright, but good things can start cookin’ more easily!
Congratulations to the whole family on the unexpected little one for all of you to love!
Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.