Excuse me, but please, please win: Thank you

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/08/2010 (5751 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Let’s face it, figuring out the 2010 Bombers is like trying to eat jello with chopsticks.

First off, they’ve got this rookie head coach who is unfailingly polite. When fans come up to Paul LaPolice after practice searching for an autograph, he thanks each and every one of them for their support. Every time.

"You guys going to be at the game on Friday?" LaPolice asked two signature seekers after practice the other day, while signing his John Hancock on a couple of T-shirts.

Yes, the Bombers have become quite the fan-friendly bunch. Sell, sell, sell.

It’s kind of like that movie Glengarry Glen Ross: Always Be Closing. Only without all the swearing.

Same goes for the coach’s weekly radio show, where LaPolice dutifully and patiently addresses each inquiry. Exhibit A: "Good questions, Pat. I appreciate it."

It can be infectious. After the Bombers lost a heartbreaker to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats (who else?) last week, Bombers quarterback Steven Jyles blamed himself. Then coach LaPolice came on and insisted, no, the loss was on him. He should have prepared the team better.

At this rate, in fact, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers are going to be the most well-mannered CFL team not to make the playoffs.

You see, it’s hard not to like the Bombers. They seem like very nice fellows. But they’re 2-4 and tied with the Tiger-Cats (who else?) for dead last in the East.

Frankly, that’s a hard record to love, regardless of the thanks and appreciation.

Same goes for the quarterbacks. Yes, that’s with an ‘s’, because there’s actually two of them. Tonight’s starter Buck Pierce, and Jyles, have been at worst decent and at best quite prolific and resourceful. A couple of boy scouts those guys, and both have so far exceeded expectations.

Yet neither one of them has so much as a .500 record. Both are 1-2 at the helm this season; Jyles has lost two straight at the buzzer and now Pierce has returned from a three-game stint on the DL after getting injured in a game against the Hamilton Tiger-Cats (who else?)….just in time to play the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. (On a related note, Pierce’s only victory came in the Bombers’ season opener against the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. We’re just sayin.’)

But, again, the confounding contradiction is that the Bombers finally have two viable pivots in their employ, both of whom have limited turnovers and routinely thrown for well over 300 yards, completed about 65 per cent of their passes and rushed for a combined 350 yards in just six outings.

Even Thursday, as the Bombers announced that Pierce would start against the Cats, Jyles insisted, "If something happens to Buck, I want the team to know they can believe in me."

In fact, we dare say the Bombers, for the first time in several summers, have arguably the best 1-2 punch at pivot in the entire CFL.

So you really want to like the Bombers, right? You want to start talking about LaPolice as the next Mike Riley, another nice guy who was around when those sharp, baby blue retro uniforms the Bombers will be wearing tonight were synonymous with championship teams. You want to herald Pierce and Jyles as a two-headed solution to all the Bomber offensive woes, not just this season, but for years to come. You want to blather on about how doing things the right way should count for something.

You know, how good things happen to good people and all that crap.

But it’s not just that the Bombers are 2-4, this is a team on the precipice of some serious soul searching, what with the likes of the Montreal Alouettes and Saskatchewan Roughriders coming up on the dance card. I mean, you can’t play the Tiger-Cats every week. Can you?

Such is the current dichotomy of the 2010 Bombers. You should meet them. They’ve got a great personality. But the time is coming very soon — 7:30 p.m. tonight, to be exact — when it will become incumbent of LaPolice and Co. to start doing things right on the field, too.

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Remember, nobody has to take the blame for winning. And a playoff berth says, "We appreciate your support" much more eloquently than mere words.

After all, is it enough to be polite and unfailingly considerate in professional football? Aren’t honest efforts and razor-thin losses worthy of getting the turnstiles spinning?

Hell… sorry, heck no.

But thank you very much for asking.

randy.turner@freepress.mb.ca

Randy Turner
Reporter

Randy Turner spent much of his journalistic career on the road. A lot of roads. Dirt roads, snow-packed roads, U.S. interstates and foreign highways. In other words, he got a lot of kilometres on the odometer, if you know what we mean.

   Read full biography