Boyfriend being a drip about spontaneous trip

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This article was published 11/02/2016 (3861 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m always in trouble over my decisions. You would think as a gay man, I’d know how men think, but I’m generally the more feminine one in a relationship. I am emotional, impetuous, funny and domestic; the guys I choose are more rational, sensible and think things out.

I took the liberty of booking my man and me on a holiday at a well-known gay spot in the Caribbean — and he wasn’t at all happy. He didn’t want to spend the money, so I told him I would pay for both of us. He unwillingly kicked in his half. Then he whined about leaving work for two weeks.

I know his boss well — he’s a great guy — and secretly phoned and asked him if he thought he could manage all right without my sweetie for the two weeks. He said, “Hell, we’ve been trying to get that workaholic to take a holiday for two years.’ So then my man was mad because I’d gone over his head.

We’re going for sure, but he’s in a snit. He barely speaks when I talk about the holiday. Here’s the thing: I know he will love it once he unwinds. I met him on a holiday in Mexico and remember his holiday persona. I fell in love with it! How do I handle him for the next weeks while he’s grumbling? Last night I put my fingers in my ears so I couldn’t hear him, and went “La-la-la.’ That made him really mad. Please help. — Mr. Impetuous, Downtown

Dear Mr. Impetuous: Leave some enticing brochures from the resort and the area lying around. Haul out some suitcases and put them off to one side. Be subtle but upbeat. Leave some sunscreen products in the bathroom. Tell a few friends who will make comments about how lucky he is. Build a positive energy around the trip. Does he have guilt and anxiety about work? Tell him his boss said he was so glad you were taking a holiday. He can be tricked! Just don’t lecture him on how he should be feeling, and mainly have your own celebrations with friends while getting ready for the trip.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife can sing and mimic the exact note of every sound made in traffic — screeching wheels, sirens, the car’s turn signal, even the fan — and does often. She calls it “life percussion.’ I call it a pain in the butt. And don’t ever let her catch you expelling gas — she can find those notes, too, and sings them right out.

I am happy she is so musical, but this kind of thing loses its entertainment value fast. Last night I lost it and yelled at her to stop. I am not a guy who yells, so she started to cry and said she was just having fun. How do I make up with her and still get her to stop? — Getting on My Nerves, Fort Rouge

Dear Getting on my Nerves: Make a deal to trade one of your bad habits for one of hers. Oh, yes, you do have them! But, if you aren’t ready to hear about yours — a clicking jaw when you eat, snoring loudly, yowling in your off-tune voice in the shower, etc. — then don’t jump on her for turning noises into notes.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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