Sibling wrestling crosses boundaries

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/05/2016 (3461 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband of four years just met his half-sister for the first time this past weekend. It all was going well, if a bit uncomfortable and overwhelming at times, as her and her husband stayed at our place. A few times my husband and my sister would wrestle, and I found it highly inappropriate because he’s 36 and she’s 28. He doesn’t do this with his other sisters.

Also, once she squeezed between her husband and my husband, practically sitting on his lap. I voiced my discomfort, and it happened again last night when we were out with friends: they started wrestling while we were leaving. I asked them repeatedly to stop and cool it, and they didn’t. He tore into me when he got home, saying I should just accept it and I basically had no right to voice my feelings.

Now we’re being civil, but I can tell he’s upset with me. I’ve apologized, and they both said they’re OK with it and it’s comfortable for them, and left it at that. This situation is very new to him and I get the fact that it’s like a shiny new toy or event and there is excitement, but it has been very inappropriate I think. Any advice?

— Sibling Wrestling, Winnipeg

Dear Sibling Wrestling: Ask him what kind of relationship he wants with his half sister. If he says “brother and sister” like you’re an idiot, then inform him that’s not what any brothers and sisters do past a young age because it can border on sexual. Ask him if he’s attracted to his younger sister because it seems like that by the way they are acting.

Tell him a quick hug hello or goodbye would be as physical as adult siblings get. There have to be boundaries.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography