Clucking like a chicken would have been preferable

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This article was published 30/05/2016 (3460 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been letting my girlfriend of six months hypnotize me for relaxation. She is into this stuff. But this weekend she wanted to hypnotize me to do things that had never been discussed. They were sexual things.

I woke up with a start at one of them, which was repellent to me. I sat up straight and said, “You must be kidding. I’m never doing that.” Then she accused me of not being “under,” when she hypnotized me and of faking it all the rest of the time. That’s not exactly true. What should I do about this? She is not exactly honourable in her intentions.

— Ready To Split, St. Boniface

Dear Ready To Split: Most people wake right up if they are startled by a direction they don’t want to go in. That happened to you, it seems. Call a halt to this experimentation because you can’t trust this woman not to try to sneak things in that she wants to get out of you for her amusement, for financial gain or sexual quirkiness. You just don”t know! Surely you can do better than this lady with ulterior motives.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You’ll never guess what happened up at the lake. My ex from 10 years ago has just bought a cabin about five cabins down from mine. He always loved the place and it was his saddest breakup loss — far above the loss of me — to lose the cabin belonging to me in the settlement. It had been in my family, not his.

I saw him in a boat on the long weekend when I was out fishing with my kids. I pulled up and asked what he was doing there. He pointed towards my area and said defiantly that he bought a cabin there. I was taken aback and couldn’t think of anything to say, so I blurted out, “Well, that’s bad news!” and left with the kids (not his).

Now I have my second husband and little kids on the lake and this jerk five cabins down. Granted, we’re all on a big island of sorts, so I can’t see his place from mine. What should I do? I don’t want him here disturbing the waters. What does he want? Should I even talk to him?

— Furious at the Lake, Wolseley

Dear Furious at the Lake: You don’t own the lake or the island, and it’s been 10 years he’s waited. It’s quite likely what the man simply wants is a cabin where he used to love going, and nothing to do with you. You can’t see him and you don’t have to be any friendlier to him than you are to other cottagers hidden in the bushes along the fringe of an island.

You can give a little Queen Elizabeth wave as you go by him in your boat, and that’s enough. A mere wave. The world needs more civility. Just because you’re almost neighbours now doesn’t mean you have to be nasty. Polite and unfriendly will be enough.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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