Ask if wife having sex with another woman
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/06/2016 (3453 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a boat that I love using to explore different rivers and lakes in Manitoba. I have two lifelong buddies who come along and fish. We spend a lot of weekends doing this in the summer. I have no kids. My wife has never fished or complained about my trips before. In fact, she packs us a lunch and snacks so we can stay out longer.
A neightbour recently mentioned the cool car driven by a woman that always pulls up after we leave, as if I would know about this. I asked my wife, and she grew very silent and pink-cheeked and finally said it was her friend. I asked why she had never mentioned this friend before, and she said it was private. Being a dolt, I asked. “What do you mean by private?” She answered: “Because she’s more than a friend to me.”
Then I started to get it. I asked how long the relatoniship had been going on and whether she was in love with her. She said she has known her all her life and that she loves me, but loves that woman in a different way, and always will. We have said nothing more about it since, and it’s very uncomfortable. Where do we go from here?
— In Love with Bisexual Wife, Winnipeg
Dear In Love with Bisexual Wife: You could start by asking her how she would feel if you had a gay friend you saw every week behind her back. She may point to your love affair with the boat, fishing and your buddies. She has half a point: there are many “exits” from a marriage, and a passionate hobby like fishing or golf, “important” work, charity work or very close buddies are only a few of them. Your wife says she’s in love with you but loves this woman. Does it bother you if they make love, too? You need to ask outright if that’s part of their relationship. Don’t make any hasty decisions. Some men don’t mind having a bisexual wife with a side partner; others can’t stand it.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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