You rode a long snake to bottom of the board

Miss Lonelyhearts By: Miss Lonelyhearts Posted:

Advertisement

Advertise with us

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a great time at the beach where my buddy and I met these two girls. By a "great time" I mean they had a big lunch, we had some beers in a cooler and we played around and suntanned and kissed and stuff. No big deal. We went home to our girlfriends and told them we went fishing. Then on Facebook, up pops this girl I was with at the beach. She sent me a private message saying she sees I have a girlfriend already and she's shocked. She says she'll tell on me unless I start seeing her and dump my girlfriend. "She can't mean that much to you!" she said.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/06/2016 (3770 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a great time at the beach where my buddy and I met these two girls. By a “great time” I mean they had a big lunch, we had some beers in a cooler and we played around and suntanned and kissed and stuff. No big deal. We went home to our girlfriends and told them we went fishing. Then on Facebook, up pops this girl I was with at the beach. She sent me a private message saying she sees I have a girlfriend already and she’s shocked. She says she’ll tell on me unless I start seeing her and dump my girlfriend. “She can’t mean that much to you!” she said.

I Facebooked her back and said, “Actually, she does mean a lot to me. What are you — some kind of blackmailer?” Then I told her to eff off. Within 20 minutes I heard from my girlfriend who heard from this (witch) about what I did with her at the beach. My girlfriend told me to get lost and never contact her again. Now what do I do?

— Robbed of My Girlfriend, Winnipeg

 

Dear Robbed: Cheating is a game of Snakes and Ladders, and you just rode the big snake to the bottom. You didn’t get “robbed,” by the way: you cheated. You got caught. Your girlfriend doesn’t want you anymore, so now your only choice is to get lost. You weren’t honest with the girl at the beach, either. Later, she was mad and got even. That’s life on the slippery side.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

 

 

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Related Articles

Feel good about helping someone and move on L-word during big O a big no Wife threw wetsuit on idea of kids Threesome's a crowd Loving her means breaking up with the bottle Local lover getting boot for European suitor Move in or lose him Wife and mother-in-law need professional ref

Advertisement Advertise With Us

Report Error Submit a Tip

Advertisement

Learn more about Winnipeg Free Press Advertising solutions

More Stories

Russell Wangersky / Free Press Spending more than $3 million a year to move 175 rail cars down 13 kilometres of track seems like an unreasonable City of Winnipeg expense.

Wasteful operations should be held accountable

Barry E. Prentice 4 minute read Preview

Wasteful operations should be held accountable

Barry E. Prentice 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Rising water bills are a top-of-mind issue for residents of Winnipeg going into the fall election. Management of the water and waste system is under question, with citizen’s groups, as well as the Free Press, calling for proper oversight of rates (Time for the PUB to review Winnipeg water rates, Editorial, Sept. 26).

The need to increase rates to build the North End sewage plant is understandable. Siphoning off utility proceeds to make up other tax revenue shortfalls is another matter. But it is not the only questionable practice. If there was Public Utilities Board oversight of Winnipeg’s water and sewer rates, it would certainly be asking why the city is spending more than $3 million annually to operate the 164-kilometre-long, Greater Winnipeg Water District railway (GWWD) on ratepayers’ behalf.

The GWWD has come to the attention of the Railway Relocation Study, led by Lloyd Axworthy. All existing rail lines within the city are under review, as is the feasibility of a new railway bypass.

The GWWD is an example of a railway that has outlived its usefulness and sits on a pocket of land close to downtown that could be converted to higher-value uses.

Read
2:00 AM CDT

Keeping the lights on

Hal Turner 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Manitobans are hardy.

We live, work and play in one of the harshest winter climates in the world.

We’re used to the cold and the dark. We’re also used to escaping it by turning on the lights and the heat.

Manitoba Hydro’s responsibility is to make sure that works, no matter what and no matter when.

The freedom to create can be a balm for the soul

Deborah Schnitzer 5 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

My mother-in-law, Malka, came to Toronto in 1958 from postwar Poland. She came with unbearable losses authored by the Third Reich fascist fantasies that had destroyed her world.

She suffered the murder of her husband and second child, a newborn. She endured a hatred of her very being that defies reason and reckoning, yet she came, nonetheless, with profound wits about her and a courage groomed by the black market in Siberia where she somehow kept her first-born toddler alive by placing her in an unlit closet where the child would be safe while Malka bartered for food.

After the war, she married a survivor whose wife and children and been exterminated. Together, they had a son; I married that son, his story and the longest hatred it embodied.

Even given the profound and forbidding ugliness of the world Malka fled, she somehow created, in her third act, a single piece of art she found beautiful.

Reed Hoffmann / The Associated Press Files Travis Kelce

Today’s horoscope

Georgia Nicols 4 minute read Preview

Today’s horoscope

Georgia Nicols 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

MOON ALERT: There are no restrictions to shopping or important decisions today. The moon is in Leo.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Social plans are unpredictable. Likewise, sports and playful activities with children are potentially accident-prone. Be vigilant! Nevertheless, this is a powerful day to make creative advances in the arts, financial speculation and the entertainment world.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Read
2:00 AM CDT
INSTAGRAM Prediction contracts let you ‘invest’ in whether Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry will get married.

Broadening prediction-market gambling a bad idea

Editorial 4 minute read Preview

Broadening prediction-market gambling a bad idea

Editorial 4 minute read Saturday, Oct. 3, 2026

Let’s make a prediction: sooner or later, when Canadian governments find a way to take their own cut of the action, prediction-contract gambling on everything from sports to entertainment to political decisions is going to come to Canada.

And that’s a horrible, dangerous, pernicious idea.

Unless you have particular access to information — either inside information or strategic information based on skills or education — you’re not likely to make money at it. In fact, structurally, you’re likely to lose. In prediction markets, you basically pay an amount, plus fees from the company involved, to bet on whether something will or will not happen within a certain time frame. The amount you pay for your contract depends on how other people are also betting.

As Wealthsimple describes it, “You buy whichever side you think is right. Prices move with demand, so if the market leans towards one outcome, the more that side costs. If a lot of people are backing the TSX to finish above 38,000, yes gets more expensive and no gets cheaper.”

Read
Saturday, Oct. 3, 2026

Fentanyl, crack seized in traffic stop

1 minute read Yesterday at 12:13 PM CDT

Winnipeg police seized fentanyl and arrested three people after pulling over a vehicle with a smashed windshield in the city's north end Friday.

The incident happened at about 8:30 a.m. Oct. 2 on Powers Street near Flora Avenue. While they were speaking with the vehicle's occupants, police officers saw a weapon "in plain view," the Winnipeg Police Service stated in a news release Sunday.

Officers searched the vehicle, finding a machete, plastic brass knuckles with a functioning Taser, 73 grams of fentanyl worth about $3,725 nine grams of cocaine worth about $720, 13 grams of crack cocaine worth about $1,000, prescription pills, cell phones, scales and packaging materials, and $790 in cash.

Anthony Courchene, 41, is charged with seven weapons, drug trafficking and proceeds of crime-related offences. He was also arrested on two Powerview RCMP warrants related to assault and release order compliance charges.