You rode a long snake to bottom of the board

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/06/2016 (3450 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a great time at the beach where my buddy and I met these two girls. By a “great time” I mean they had a big lunch, we had some beers in a cooler and we played around and suntanned and kissed and stuff. No big deal. We went home to our girlfriends and told them we went fishing. Then on Facebook, up pops this girl I was with at the beach. She sent me a private message saying she sees I have a girlfriend already and she’s shocked. She says she’ll tell on me unless I start seeing her and dump my girlfriend. “She can’t mean that much to you!” she said.

I Facebooked her back and said, “Actually, she does mean a lot to me. What are you — some kind of blackmailer?” Then I told her to eff off. Within 20 minutes I heard from my girlfriend who heard from this (witch) about what I did with her at the beach. My girlfriend told me to get lost and never contact her again. Now what do I do?

— Robbed of My Girlfriend, Winnipeg

Dear Robbed: Cheating is a game of Snakes and Ladders, and you just rode the big snake to the bottom. You didn’t get “robbed,” by the way: you cheated. You got caught. Your girlfriend doesn’t want you anymore, so now your only choice is to get lost. You weren’t honest with the girl at the beach, either. Later, she was mad and got even. That’s life on the slippery side.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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