Ex-girlfriend enjoyed seeing you squirm

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This article was published 10/06/2016 (3752 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an old girlfriend in our local Safeway and she looked terrific. I had been working on my bike and was wearing a dirty grey T-shirt and sweatpants. I kept touching my head because I felt self-conscious about going bald. Where’s your hat when you need it? I even tried to suck my gut in, but it didn’t work for long.

She just moved back to the neighbourhood and said she was very happy in her marriage, delighted with her two beautiful kids (something she knew I had wanted) and her career had worked out well, “Guess what! I just got another promotion,” she said. I heard myself, still single and lonely, saying, “Well, that sounds great, yep great, uh-uh great,” as she prattled on and on. At the end, I said sarcastically, “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to your perfect life and get on with my shopping.” When I got outside I wondered why I embarrassed myself by being jealous of her life. I’m the one who dumped her. Do you know why?

— Blew That Encounter, East Kildonan

Dear Blew That Encounter: As the dumpee, this ex-girlfriend quickly perceived her physical advantage at this meeting with you in grubby clothes and looking self-conscious about your lost hair. Believe me, she really enjoyed rubbing it in about her perfect life. That’s what brought on your sarcasm. Most grown women are quite aware when they are really sticking it to a guy who once dumped them. She may have exaggerated her perfect life a lot, but how were you to know? Try to remember why you broke up with her in the first place, and get back to that place in your head.

And please take it easy on yourself. It’s one of life’s great ironies that we usually run into old loves when we’re looking our worst, but who wants to go everywhere like we’re dressed up for a date? You just take your chances and be yourself. Your mistake was standing there for too long, listening to her. Surely the comfort foods and chocolate aisles were calling out to you after the first two minutes of her bragfest. Next time your see her, duck away faster, trailing a fake line behind you like, “Sorry, love to chat, but I’m in a hurry. Hope to see you again when I have more time!” You sincerely hope you won’t, but you get a free pass to be phony after that first encounter.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing in response to Terrible Sleeps. I also have restless leg syndrome, and yes, there are other things to try, such as taking a walk in the evening around the block — not a power walk, just a good stroll. This does seem to work off extra energy in the legs. I have found taking potassium and magnesium helps as well. There are foods that contain these things, but eating several bananas a day does not appeal to me. Do some research and talk to a health food store’s knowledgeable staff member for some advice. Not only is your wife disturbing your sleep, but is probably not getting enough sleep herself, so it would be in her own best interest to take action. This will not get better on its own.

— Walking in Windsor Park, Winnipeg

Dear Walking in Windsor Park: It’s best to walk in the evening close to bedtime so your legs are a bit tired out when you go to bed, says one of my physician consultants. People try all kinds of supplements and swear by them, but there are few research studies to back them up There are some specialized medical prescriptions that can help, but you’d have to speak to your own doctor about that. Why does it happen? Nobody knows. It’s still a medical mystery, and it tends to come and go at different points in peoples’ lives.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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