Move in or lose him

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/06/2016 (3745 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a single mom of two children. I’ve been dating an honest, hard-working man for three years. He has one son. We both have our own houses. He recently purchased a large house for all of us. My kids and I plan to move in with them in one year to allow for an adjustment period.

The problem is his new neighbour. She has children his son’s age who come over. She keeps texting him about things completely unrelated to the kids. Yesterday, she arrived unannounced and was asking him questions about me, the new house and if I was helping him decorate. How do I get her to back off while being polite at the same time? I’m not looking for a new “friend” who hits on my partner.

— Not Impressed, Winnipeg

Dear Not Impressed: This hot-tot-trot neighbour is interacting with him, and in his way, he’s warning you. Why do you need still more adjustment time? You’ve already been with the guy for three years, and he went out and bought a house for everybody. The lady next door is going to beat you to him at the snail’s pace you’re moving. Why not move in during the summer so the kids can start school near the new house in the fall? He should really tell this woman about his commitment to you and to back off, but instead he’s telling you about her interest in him to get you to move in and commit. Wake up!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my 30s and I met this 26-year-old guy on a dating site. We exchanged numbers, became friends on Facebook and I told him what I wanted. It’s like we were going slowly in the relationship. We agreed about that because of our jobs. Everything was OK for two weeks, and then I found out he’s back on the dating site chatting with other people.

I really feel badly because again I gave my trust to a wrong man. I thought we were keeping in touch and still seeing each other once a week. I’m naive and still hoping he will change. But I know a cheater and a liar is always a cheater and a liar. I’m the kind of person that always has hope, but how are things going to be OK? What should I do? Do I have to tell him what I found out, or just walk away with no words at all?

— Miss Naive, Winnipeg

Dear Miss Naive: At the two-week point, it was too early for either of you to commit to anything, including going slowly. Having one date a week and not speaking to anyone else online is difficult when it provides a steady banquet of possibilities. Just say goodbye and get back online again, too. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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