Don’t worry about guys minding difference in size

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/10/2016 (3284 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: One of my breasts is larger than the other by quite a bit. I have postponed dating because I don’t want a guy to discover this. I jokingly call my breasts Lady B and Lady C to my girlfriends. I joke about a lot of things.

Now I have met this guy I’d really like to go out with and I know he’s interested in me. How do I explain that Lady B has a pad under her to lift her up and rubbery stuff to fill in the bottom of the cup? If we get anywhere past necking, he will find out. — Secret Breast Situation, Winnipeg

Dear Secret Breast Situation: Most guys have one testicle bigger and lower than the other, so they’re used to the uneven attributes dealt to human beings. We are not cookie-cutter people, but works of art, or so good mothers like to say. If you get close and intimate with this guy, just laugh it off and he will probably get a kick out of your breasts’ nicknames. When you get involved in intimacy and caring, sometimes those secret vulnerable things between you are endearing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was walking in a well-populated park when I saw this guy starting toward me with purpose in his stride. I didn’t recognize him at first and got scared and started to bolt. He called for me and said his name — it was my old boyfriend from high school 15 years ago, with no hair on top of his head. I slowed down and looked at him, still in shock, and we both started to laugh. I don’t look much like myself either as I’m very pregnant.

We went and had a long walk and talk, and it was like old times. When he left to go, he caught me and my big belly up in a warm hug and gave me a passionate kiss. When he finally said goodbye, his voice cracked a bit when he said, “I should have married you.” I said, “You’re probably right, but we were too young then and we had to experience life and other people.” He said that really didn’t do him any good. Then something came out of my mouth I didn’t expect. I said, “Call me if you’re ever free.” What? That was a surprise even for me. I have known my own marriage had big problems and my husband and I had both hoped this baby would get us back to being closer again. Now all I can think about is my high school boyfriend. What should I do? — What a Mess, North Winnipeg

Dear What a Mess: Do absolutely nothing at this point. Keep your eyes forward and do everything in your power to make things good with your husband again. It must have been great once, or you wouldn’t have married him. High school sweethearts who were truly meant for each other usually don’t break up, or else they find themselves back in each other’s arms within a year or two after school, and get married.

Think about why things ended with your high school boyfriend. If he calls you, and I suspect he might, and you are curious enough to have coffee with him, make sure you ask the reasons he broke up with different girlfriends over the years. Ask the question casually, and listen seriously. By that time, you will have remembered most of the reasons you and he didn’t last way back then, other than age. If they have to do with character rather than maturity, those problems may still exist.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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